STATE OF THE BASTARD 2023

I’m 35, Half Alive Without A Pot To Piss In 

Well, no I’m doing… stable. I guess the scary 35 is here, and I wonder if all of this is worth it. 

However, even though I didn’t do a lot of music this year, I still traveled a lot: this year alone was Maryland for Magfest, Atlanta for FWA, Chicago for MFF, and I went back to Orlando TWICE. 

I guess that’s what Rhythm Bastard has been for me: A way to get out. Out of my shell, out in to the world, outside of my own head. People recognized me at these places and it finally felt like I was getting somewhere. 

Until my Twitter suspension, but I don’t want to dwell on that.

But even that doesn’t deter me because as inconvenient as it was, it made me try harder and starting over helped me slim down and learn how to cultivate an online space, which is a necessity in these anger-inducing times, but more on that later 

My inspirations like MC Bat Commander, Mark Mothersbaugh and Billie Joe Armstrong are 40+ and are still doing goofy shit, so why can’t I? 

TWO UPCOMING SHOWS SOON: OTAKUFEST AND BIT BRIGADE

Otakufest (as I'll post later) is the best South FL anime con, and Bit Brigade is the REAL show I'm working hard on!

HARDCORE NERDCORE PUNK ROCK NOW AVAILABLE! 

 

At long last! I've been saying "I'll get around to it!" for over 2 years, but now it's finally out! It's a best of/road mix but at the first couple cons I've been able to sell it at, it also boosted the sales of my OTHER albums as well!

FAVORITE SONG I MADE THIS YEAR: “Shutdown” 

I didn’t do a lot on Patreon song wise this year, it was a lot of build up for other projects, and I guess I was in a malaise, hence why I started doing weekly updates for my Patreon. It felt like I was doing SOMETHING with you all. 

Shoutout to ThirdKoopa from GameGrooves for helping me out immensely with this, and for introducing me to the concept of “ear candy” that gave the song a big boost. 

Also helped the stories for Neon Dynasty and New Capenna ended up being really good? It was VERY clear that there were themes to explore within the setting of tech vs. nature, and that was a NATURAL fit for Shutdown. 

PODCASTS I'M A PART OF!
RPG Pals Club- …We’re wrapping up at 100 episodes which should be soon. 

The Dragon Heist Campaign has been wrapped up, we’ve all had big changes in our lives, ONE OF US HAD A BABY! It sucks, especially with late stage RPG Pals being so fun and carefree with our improvisation, but the podcast itself is stagnating. We can have fun without needing to record and edit it. 

As much as I love my punk drow monk and his motley crew, maybe opening their dog cafe is the “ride off into the sunset” moment he needed. 

I love Luke, Sahoni, Sam, Jean and Madison so much, and want to keep playing with them. 

Taste Of Dragons- Not only do I do their theme song, but I was FINALLY ON! I have not seen these people in person since the pandemic started and it was great to see the 3KB crew again! 

OTHER COOL SHIT I DID
Did music for Quinton Reviews
I made the fake “credits" to the actually real "Gibby!" pilot for his "The Scandal Of Sam and Cat" video. Quinton's one of my favorite Youtubers and I was really glad I got to work with him on this. 

A lot of Backhouse Mike's music sound like "What if Nine In The Afternoon by Panic At The Disco sucked?". Definitely "White Guy Who Is OK At Blues Guitar" energy. 

I Was Interviewed By One Of The Largest Furry News Sites, Dogpatch Press
Damn, what is it with furry outlets and good interviews? Dogpatch Press has been in the game for a while, covering a lot of very diverse topics within the fandom, so it was a huge honor. Patch O' Furr really talked me up AND I STILL WANT THAT CAT/RACCOON GRUDGE MATCH!

Finished a fursuit
Full body, front and back with muscles included. There's a shitton of pictures in various stages of completion, but I have it COMPLETED. There's still some work to be done in regards to giving that bitch some ventilation, but I'm so happy I was able to accomplish what I have, learning so many new skills in the process.

Even made a last minute Sly Cooper costume for it! 

Played a bunch of new conventions 

MAGFest - National Harbor, MD 
What if a con had everything you wanted in it? And was reasonably walkable to decent food? 

Otakufest - Miami, FL
What if a local FL anime con was good? 

Furry Weekend Atlanta - Atlanta, GA
I don't need a mic stand to fucking shred. But I love attending these big conventions where I can do nothing but play Commander games all weekend. 

Midwest Furfest - Rosemont, IL
PAX East for all my furry bullshit. Well, not really. PAX East is where I see a bunch of shiny new stuff, MFF was more meeting people I've only known online through handles and hashtags. 

Made Stuff In VR Chat
SPEAKING OF FURRY BULLSHIT... 

Special thanks to Kaideart's tutorial series where I learned how to make Thrash in 3D in both his wrestling gear and his streetwear.

As of this writing, I'm actually working on a VRChat world for a venue/game shop. 

I Went Viral On TikTok... Again... For The Same Video...

@terrasmg Meowscles 😳 | #fyp #viral #fortntie #meowscles #furry ♬ original sound - Terra

i swear to xenagos there should be like a double jeopardy on this shit  

TREND I LIKED THE LEAST: DIVORCED DADS MAKING THEIR CASTRATION OUR PROBLEM
Elon Musk, Kanye West, and Johnny Depp are the biggest examples of this, but a lot of the Proud Boys here in South Florida are so divorced, I'm starting to think that Fidel Castro invented the concept of alimony.

If you want to stem the rise of fascism, just award the man at every divorce a certificate saying that they "Won The Divorce". That's what it is: people who wrap up their self worth not in what they do, but in a preassigned role in the hierarchy. 

See also: Men who only have children to prove that they're straight. If their children turn out Not Straight, then that means he is "defective", bringing into question his Straightness. Drag is not "Straight" so it will infect the child, where as Hooters and church is considered reinforcing How It Should Be

TREND I LIKED THE MOST: COMMUNITY SOLIDARITY
For all the threats of men in the former category wanting to murder people for being Not Straight, local communities showed up in numbers to protect each other, especially when Antifascists show up armed to scare the gravy seals. 

You love to see it folks.

WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME ABOUT THIS SOONER? AWARD: Vince Gironda's 8x8 Workout

Yeah, I know it's not some video game or internet thing, but half my brand is Being Swole, and I found a new routine that works for me.

Long story short, 8 sets, 8 reps, 30 seconds of rest. I do four exercises per workout focusing on two different muscle groups. It's time efficient, gets me a good pump, and forces me to retreat a little on the weight so I can make sure I'm hitting those SIXTY FOUR REPS with the best form I can. Work out wise, I've been in a rut for a while, and this is getting me out of it!

NOT FOR BEGINNERS, THOUGH.

FAVORITE SONG OF 2022: "C'mon Loretta" by Trixie Mattel

 

Trixie Mattel has two modes: Catchy as fuck Pop-Rock or introspective country. "C'mon Loretta" is a power pop tribute to the late country star Loretta Lynn, that still has the storytelling DNA of the latter genre. In Trixie's usual fashion, it's a dire story, told with a peppy and uplifting facade.

Of course, the video is pure sunshine-y camp, recreating the Bille Jean King vs. Bobby Riggs match, featuring a cameo from UNHhhh co-star Katya.

TOP 40 SONG I HATED THE LEAST IN 2022: "About Damn Time" by Lizzo   

This was no contest, Lizzo rules, and has been a shining star in the pop music landscape in the past few years. About Damn Time is a disco song with fun turns of phrase like "I'm gonna need two shots in my cup: One to get up, one to get down" and "Bad Bitch O' Clock/Thick Thrity" and it's impossible to feel anything close to bad while listening to this. 

OLD GAME OF 2022 RUNNERS UP:
5. A Golden Wake (PC)- An historical point-and-click adventure game that's perfect if you want something light and, like me, are an NY to FL transplant that will have plenty of "Oh! I know that place!" moments, even though the game has you playing a Floridian realtor in the 1920s who turns to crime, which reminds me of how his counterpart 100 years later will turn to divorced Fascism.

4. Doom (Switch)- Hey, turns out the old FPS that influenced many other it its wake is a good game!

3. Danganronpa v3: Killing Harmony (PC)- Its conclusion is similar to Zero Escape in that it will leave you wondering "Well what's the point?" but the madcap happenings will make you forget about all that and leave you with an hype swan song for the series that FINALLY MANAGES TO MAKE HANGMANS GAMBIT NOT SUCK!!!

2. Grand Theft Auto IV (PC)- Everyone was sour on this game for "NIKO, IT'S YOUR COUSIN!" and being less humorous than its predecessor, but the game tells a story about how the American Dream is a bunch of bullshit upheld by crooks and liars and gets the immigrants to turn to crime to scrape at each other in a New York City expy that felt so real I teared up a little just driving through the different boroughs.

#1 OLD GAME OF 2022: Timespinner (PC)

Jeff was kind enough to gift me this out of the blue and once I was an hour in, I then played it in its entirety on stream. Metroidvania's are a dime-a-dozen, especially in the indie scene and this wears it's "I LOVED SYMPHONY OF THE NIGHT" inspiration like a lighthouse beacon. I never played Symphony of the Night. 

Where Timespinner shines is how it uses the "AHA!" Moment, in every aspect of both its setting and its gameplay.

As the name implies, you'll be traveling between two separate time zones, as you play the role of a titular "Timespinner", someone who is tasked with going back in time to warn your tribe about danger, at the cost of you essentially restarting a new life since you were erased in the old one. It makes for some very bittersweet moments, but also allows some very intense AHAs! when you finally are able to warp between time periods. 

 For example, when you first encounter the castle area, you encounter it in the past, so the technology is medival, and while the soldiers are tougher than the flora and fauna you've been tackling thus far, they don't do THAT much damage. But in the "present", the soliders are more technologically advanced, are tougher, and require new strategies to beat. And that's just the tip of it: Flooded areas drain, pathways become blocked by walls that have crumpled over time, even basic layouts become rearranged. 

It's a game that builds all of these connections as you play concluding in one grand tearjerker of an ending.

NEW GAME OF 2021 RUNNERS UP:
5. Beacon Pines (PC)- While it doesn't have a whole lot of game play going on, its hand painted presentation and wholesome, 80s movie adventure left giving it a solid recommendation to play through.

4. Vampire Survivors (PC)- The indie darling everyone's been talking about hits all the brain parts of a clicker, but has enough strategy required to make it a game worth coming back to that has plenty of challenges to shoot for.

3. Grapple Dog (PC)- While it juuuuuust misses the mark by being failed by its main mechanic in the later levels, it's still an extremely well designed platformer with a soundtrack that recreates the 90s in all the best ways, mainly with orchestral hits. 

2. Neon White (PC)- A platformer experience that starts and ends strong, and keeps you coming back for more creative ways to explore your environment, Neon White also has the crisp art style and strong audio aesthetic that makes the game feel like a fever dream.

 #1 NEW GAME OF 2022: Arcade Spirits: The New Challengers (PC)

Two years in a row! Kinda! 

Where it's predecessor took notes from the workplace romance sitcoms of yesteryear, Arcade Spirits: The New Challnegers takes its cues from the 80's Sports Movie, complete with a douchebag rival team and a gang of misfits you work your may to the top. If you're coming off of harder fare like say, an Echo or Adastra, this is like a sweet, fluffy cotton candy after that meal from the movie The Menu. 

Arcade Spirits is not a series about MAKING DECISIONS, it's about HANDLING SITUATIONS. It's more about whether or not you, for example, handle a dispute between teammates by being aggressive, humourous, or logical, making every piece of dialogue feel natural and like you're just carrying on a conversation. While there are certain interactions you can "fail", those are more like "There's no good way to handle this". Towards the end there are "Boss" interactions but those are more about leaning in to your natural way of handling things. 

Can I just say, as I posted on a Twitter thread, this game addresses social issues WAY better than most media out there? Discussion about social justice and those who pursue it (BASED COMRADE BOYFRIEND LOCKSLEY), the Gamer Branding, technology and its consequence, all written in a fairly lighthearted story about playing Not League Of Legends.

ANNUAL REMINDER I SHARE A BIRTHDAY WITH MC BAT COMMANDER:

The Status Quo Is Bullshit, Travel More

DUMPING GROUND FOR SAD NEWS ARTICLES
Shit, this was where I'd put links to all the news coverage of people protesting pride parades, that one where that far right militia got caught, anything that idiot Ron DeSantis has done, and drag events interrupted everywhere because neanderthals are more concerned with the children they both live vicariously through AND treat as property are going to be "traumatized" when we all know damn well that their WASP Mom and Dad are showing up to every school board meeting to bitch about "CTR" or whatever they heard from Newsmax or some shit.

Anyway my fellow queers, get a gun.

N.B. I didn't release this last week, since I was waiting on getting back from AFO, but reading the Roe V. Wade shit, castrate any and all Pro-Forced Birth Man, knock up their daughters, mothers and wives, and then set them on fire at the 4th of July party and say it was a Fireworks Accident.

PRE-ORDER HARDCORE NERDCORE PUNK ROCK!
COMING OUT JULY 1st!

The link will let you preorder it on my Bandcamp, Spotify and Apple Music pages! I'll also put out a pre-order page for CDs when I have a better idea of when those come in.

1. Future Endeavor
2. Status Quo Radio
3. Pass The Class
4. Cliffhanger
5. Radio Days Pt. 1
6. Thrash Panda
7. Force Of Nature
8. Space Tambourine
9. Hunting Bigger Game
10. Imminent Doom
11. Fire In The Hole
12. High Noon
13. Fuck Terfs (But Don't Have Sex With Them)
14. Hell Yeah
15. Take The Oath
16. Bastard's Reunion
17. Imminent Doom (AKI Version)
18. Fire In The Hole (AKI Version)

FWA RECAP

My show was at 8:30 PM in one of the panel rooms, which wasn't NECESSARILY the worst thing, but uh...

i wasn't sure i'd have a mic until 20 minutes before the show

and i didn't have a mic stand

So, I had to have one of my friends hold the mic while I played, and it WORKED. It gave the show more of a punk rock feel, and people even VOLUNTEERED to hold it! Still not ideal, but it just goes to show that my strength as a performer is to be able to improvise with what I've got, and NEVER give up. I put on a DAMN GOOD show regardless!

I just hope next year everything's sorted out, and I can get me some MAIN STAGE time!

Also I met up with a couple artists I've only contacted with through Twitter!

OTHER PANELS I WENT TO!
STEM Meetup- Now, this is a type of panel I don't normally see at other cons I usually play at, and it was nice to have something that's more or less for ADULTS. Not an 18+ up panel, but just a panel that doesn't make me feel like an old man. Met a lot of cool people there, and did get to learn from others who are in varying specializations and points in their careers

Cassidy The Civet's Concert- She's been doing a lot of cons, and I finally managed to catch one of her shows. She has great voice, but her set was mostly did Eurovision covers, so I couldn't quite get a good idea of her sound.

Survifur: FWA- Yes, it's a dumb pun, but it was an interesting competition, even if the stakes aren't a million dollar cash prize. It was also run by Cassidy the Civet!

Cut Content Panel- This one was run by one of HELLBREAKFAST's Friends and it was about cut content and the like in retro games. It covered a lot of ground in mostly NES-era games, but I can see how someone can get LOST datamining these older titles and how it helps us all better understand how they're put together. They're hard to make, even back then.

Anyway, 10/10 would go again if I had a mic stand. Between this and MAGFest, I'm starting to shy away from the smaller anime cons in my area and am trying to aim higher, or at least more specific. The crowd there are more passionate, and are more eager to share and create, rather than consume. It's cynical at my age, but I found a con that I 100% vibe with.

Furry cons are Ren Faires mixed with Pride Parades. That was my go to shorthand anytime any one asked what was going on, so take that nugget of wisdom with you! 

 ANIME FESTIVAL ORLANDO RECAP!

 This one I was 1000% better prepared for, since I... could bring stuff. I also debuted "Run Over Ronnie", and given that my show was on the same day a bunch of old crackers decided they were the coochie boss, the crowd was 100000% behind it.

It's a live staple alongside Fuck Terfs!

Also I had a merch set up, and even though it was out of the way, A LOT of people came through and picked up a shirt!

NEW MERCH: FUCK TERFS SHIRT

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Given section 1, you all deserve something for Pride month going into Wrath month.

Honestly it was about time, and I FINALLY decided to it. I do have a copy of this shirt myself, and have worn it to the gym several times. 

RPG PALS CLUB ON ITCH.IO

This is the PUBLIC release of the RPG Pals Club Visual Novel I've been working on! Currently it's in Godot, but eventually I might transport it over to something where I have a little more freedom to do whatever.

Right now this is the first 3 "Acts" of Episode 1. Each episode will have 5 "Acts", and I'm writing the fifth one right now. When? I dunno. 

JAM OF THE WEEK: "Stop, Drop, Roll" by Can't Stop Won't Stop

So "The Bad Guys", the Furry Movie Of The Moment, came out on DVD on 6/21. 

They fucking knew.

Regardless, the movie itself was an enjoyable watch. The plot, although predictable, was charming enough so that I was along for the ride, the animation style was slick, and the voice acting was done, not by big name celebrities, but character actors!

What kicked off the movie, was this big car chase set to this song, "Stop Drop Roll" by Can't Stop Won't Stop. It's not an easily recognizable pop song, it's funky and the action syncs up to the beats well. Even in small moments like a sharp turn, or when the crew buckles their seatbelts.

Funk is one of those genres I've never sought out, but I always enjoyed when it's on, because musically it's so interesting. Layers on layers on layers, AND there's rapping. Nothing concrete thematically, more like "Scenario" by Tribe Called Quest where it's rappers flexing. Again, nothing terrible impressive, and it all flows the same, but fuck it, I still had fun.

STATE OF THE BASTARD 2021

Nobody Likes You When You're 33...

Day job and pandemic bullshit aside, I've been thinking more and more about the fact that I've been doing this for 10 years, and wondering if I am where I should be. After Virtua Ongaku 4, working alongside so talented artists, I came to the realization that I don't "belong" in the nerd music scene, but I'm still happy with what I'm doing.

I don't cover Megalovania on guitar, or have the wherewithal to throw together a rap based on the latest anime for the sake of SEO.

I've always liked performing and songwriting first and foremost. I want to make the songs that enrich OTHER people's lives; the ones to cover, the ones to mosh to, the ones that you can nod along to. Being a musician's musician ain't a bad place to be so long as you're revered.

As far as everything else goes... COVID hasn't really affected us... yet. My mom was furloughed from her job, but she got paid for it, and I've been working the whole time since my day job is construction. It's been weird to be in this kind of liminal state where you KNOW everyone else is locked in, but you've still had to be able to move around freely. 

 2020 was a year on hold, and while I hate putting something off, those in charge were hellbent on making sure the damn thing stuck around as long as possible. 

Still, looking back and writing this recap of the year, turns out I still did a LOT. I played three virtual concerts (MizuConnect, Virtua Ongaku and Megaplex Online), hosted panels, worked on games, but even that it all felt like I was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Hopefully this year, I can keep coming up with new ways to

HARDCORE NERDCORE PUNK ROCK TO RELEASE THIS YEAR!!!

"Hardcore Nerdcore Punk Rock" is the upcoming "Road Mix/Greatest Hits" album celebrating 10+ years of me doing this thing. Mostly I'm doing it so I can have an album to sell at cons where you can get all/most of the songs I played in one piece, and because I want these newer versions to reflect all the lessons I've learned since starting.

Here's the dope ass cover made by HellBreakfast:

The tracks so far include redone and remixed versions of some live show staples like "Status Quo Radio", "Thrash Panda" and "Fuck Terfs (But Don't Have Sex With Them)"

Loved the cover art so much I made a MTG card out of it: 

MOST RECENT SONG THAT WASN'T A REWORK OF AN OLDER SONG:  

This is a song about my DnD Character, Oi!, the punk drow monk that I play on RPG Pals Club.  

This went to my Patrons three days ago, but here's the backstory I wrote for him that's on my character page: 

Every night, as he’d check on the prisoners in their quarters, Oi noticed  something odd developing. It started off innocently enough: a captive would bang out a beat on their walls to a satisfying rhythm, but then others started joining in. Eventually one of them fashioned a guitar and bass out of some enchanted webbing and various bits of wood. It was crude, but it was incredible how it all came together, and the drow became enamoured with the sound this new device made.  

Normally it was Oi’s job to keep  these people in line, but the longer and longer these midnight musicals went on, the more sense it all seemed to make to him, where each part contributed to a greater whole for the sake of improving, not on the behest of of an authority.   

Then they started singing.   

They sung about their pain, they sung about their feelings, they sung about those from the surface they had missed after being brought down to  the underdark. Each night, a different tune of loss and hopelessness, joy and respite, fond memories and lost loves.  While most drow would revel in such pain, Oi only asked them this:  

“Could you do it faster? And louder?”  

For a while, the band of captives acquiesced to Oi’s requests. 

The music filled him with an energy he'd never felt before; he could move twice as fast, lift twice  as much and when he was on, um, "personal" duty, he, uh, ahem, provided much better “service”. 

While the prisoners didn’t mind so long as Oi didn’  cause them any trouble, they still longed for the lives on the surface world.   

“You know,” said Pubrin, a half-elf bard from Waterdeep, “I used to be part of a band before I was captured and brought down here. If you let us out, I can reunite with them and you can join us.” The offer,  while incredibly tempting to Oi, was bittersweet: the Underdark was all he knew, and he had heard that most surface dwellers despise the drow.  

“I’m sorry,” he said with a frown, “but I'm not sure I can make it out there.”    

To which Purbin replied, “Have it your way”  

The next night, there was no  music.

This continued on for at least another week. With each night of silence,  Oi could feel himself slipping more and more; his mind was always  somewhere else, his body not quite working right, as if it were only a  puppet. The high priestesses kept scolding him on his shoddy work and he  knew if this kept going on, he could be executed or worse, relegated to clean up duty.  

Oi still tried to remember the music, grasping on to whatever fragments of song that had filled him such vigor before, but it did not have the same effect. Lying on the dirt floor he called a bed, he closed his eyes and sang the remnants of ballad of the city Purbin called home. 

As he fell asleep, he could hear not only the chords of the makeshift instruments and the beats of the upturned buckets, but the hustle of the city and the pounding of hundreds of feet on cobblestone. Turning his head up, he could no longer see the rugged stone ceiling of a cave where the laborers were forced to call their quarters, but a wide open sky.

The air was fresh.

The people kind.

And no one to tell him what to do. 

Purbin awoke from his usually frenzied slumber with the sound of his  cell door being ripped open. Oi was there in the doorway, covered in  sweat and his Mohawk in shambles atop his head. 

 “We’re leaving tonight.”

FAVORITE SONG I MADE THIS YEAR: "First Day Of Spring"  

Sometimes I just flex on a track with little things I want to do, like "Hey, I should make it all about seasons like some kind of theme" and "add synth" and "be new wave". This was during a portion where I learned to stop hating my voice so much, and I'm really proud of what I was able to do with the song. Granted, it didn't get as much pick up as I wanted, but it's a formula I'm comfortable with: Nerdy Reference But Earnest.

PODCASTS

RPG Pals Club- You know, we may have only dipped out toes into Waterdeep for a few Episodes, but we got some DAMN fine moments out of it. Not only that, a lot of the games outside of our usual campaign were games that were made by fellow crew members.

I'd Rather Not- Oscar did 9/11, everyone moved down to Florida, RuPaul has a fracking pipe in my master bedroom, and every drinks paint thinner. HOW DID THE LORE GET DUMBER?

Taste Of Dragons- Some of my friends from the 3000 Brigade started a gaming podcast two years ago, and since they knew I did music, they asked me to compose an intro and other incidental bits.

3000 BRIGADE BECAUSE IT'S A REGULAR THING I DO AND IT'S NOT TECHNICALLY A PODCAST BUT I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO PUT IT
 

So the 3000 Brigade show was very wonky this year because EVERY CON WAS CANCELLED BECAUSE OF COVID. Or rather, all of the worthwhile cons were cancelled. Despite the 3KB being a stage show, we were able to get some digital things going on, aided greatly by the fact that Taste Of Dragons started upping its social media output.

I'll let you all know if anything else I worked on comes out on YouTube, but we're stretching things a little bit while we see what 2021 brings.

OTHER COOL SHIT I DID:
I HOSTED A PANEL ABOUT WRESTLING MUSIC AND VIDEO GAMES
 

Robbie Russel, a friend of mine who worked at Harmonix and Nerdcore Rapper Hero Mega Ran at PAX East 2020. That was really cool, and that whole convention was a great last hurrah before... everything else. Also, Pat Baer was kind enough to make a cameo.

If you want me at my most "me", then check out this panel. 

RETROMANIA WRESTLING NOW HAS A RELEASE DATE!

I also finished up my music for Retromania Wrestling, which since last year has 3 new wrestlers: Warhorse, Matt Cordona (former Zack Ryder) and Brian Meyers (fomerly Curt Hawkins), a story mode and all new menus.

It also has a release date of February 26th, 2021!

I TOOK PART IN A NINJA SEX PARTY TRIBUTE ALBUM

 

Yeah, this also happened! I covered Ninja Sex Party's "3 Minutes Of Ecstasy" as part of a cover album that was spearheaded by Insane Ian, and elder statesman in the world of comedy music. I first saw him hosting Magfest Versus at Momocon and I've been following him ever since!

TREND I LIKED THE LEAST:  A Pandemic Showcasing Just How Awful Capitalism Is For A Society To Handle Any Kind Of Problem

WHERE THE FUCK DO I BEGIN?

The pandemic would have been WAY more manageable if the lockdowns were so half assed and we were paid the equivalent to stay home. Want more money? Then essential businesses can hire more workers, and "small business owners" can be paid a stipend based on their personal take home.

Suspend rent, suspend bills, hit the pause button for a few weeks.

BUT NO! The Landlords need their money, the CEOs need their record breaking profits, the machine of capitalism demands blood, since having a "functioning society" gets in the way of that whole "number go up" thing.

This tweet put it best:

There was never any lockdown. There was just middle-class people hiding while working-class people brought them things.

— JJ Charlesworth (@jjcharlesworth_) October 14, 2020

TREND I LIKED THE MOST: Aggressively Leftist Video Games

 Sadly these games didn't stick AS long with me as the ones in my Top 5s below, but "Tonight We Riot" and "Treachery In Beatdown City" are two INCREDIBLY unique indie titles that have aren't afraid to upset the status quo in regards to how political and what kind of politics games can feature. 

 

"Tonight We Riot" is a game in which you lead a workers rebellion. Not as a lone hero fighting opression, but as a collective movement. It ends up playing like a side scrolling beat 'em up version of Pikmin, which works well for the theming. Also it's VERY cathartic to see all sorts of modern day misery makers meet their demise, as you fight the police, billionaires and their bootlickers trying to keep worker down.

 

"Treachery In Beatdown City" has been in the works for a VERY long time, but it's a labor of love that like "Tonight We Riot", also puts a unique twist on the side scroller brawler. In the middle of an encounter, you can pause the action to set up combos to deal more damage and keep your opponents off their rocker. The main theme of the game is "Gentrification Really Sucks, So Let's Punch It In The Face", where you'll fight mostly preps, gentrifirers and cops. Sometimes you might give a guy a bad look and they'll say FUCK YOU LET'S RUMBLE, and that person just so happens to own Harmonix.

Not complete though, as a heads up.

FAVORITE SONG OF 2020: "WAP" by Cardi B. feat. Megan Thee Stallion
 

There was A LOT of good music this year, (see next category), but when I think to a song that brought me the most joy, it wasn't the song itself. 

Don't get me wrong, "WAP" is really fun, and Cardi's delivery with Megan's flow elevate all the silliness, and the beat is fun, but knows to stay out of the way.

I still don't know what Kylie Jenner was doing there. I think she might have been in the group chat and showed up?

But, what made this song the BEST is how it single-handedly it destroyed Ben Shapirio's credibility. Yes, the has devolved art into a thing to consume to stake your claim in the culture war, but COME ON. 

Don't get me wrong, sex isn't everything in a relationship, but again I say: COME ON.

When you show your ass THAT much that the memelords turn against you in full force, and then have the audacity to double down, you're no longer "Ben Shapiro, Conservative Intellectual" (which was a BS claim anyway), you're "Ben Shapiro, THE GUY WHO DOESN'T KNOW HOW VAGINAS WORK"

 

 

 

 

TOP 40 SONG I HATED THE LEAST: Actually Pop Music Was Really Fucking Good This Year, But I Gotta Give It To "Blinding Lights" by The Weeknd
 

I was going to give it to Machine Gun Kelly's "My Bloody Valentine", but The Weeknd just continues to impress with how his music can put me in a very specific mood.

With Blinding Lights, I imagine myself desperately driving down a neon-lit Miami highway as I try to put a shitty night behind me and cruise on to the next disaster.

In a way, COVID is responsible for this song sticking around as long as it did, since protocols prevented people from meeting as often, so that screwed up the recording industry as well. Regardless, I've been very optimistic about pop music this year, now that we have a new batch of songs I'm enjoying, and The Aquabats! came out with a new album! (see below)

"WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME ABOUT THIS SOONER?" AWARD: Fortnite

Hey, you know Fortnite? That game that has been and will be fucking everywhere for at least the next couple of years?

Turns out I really like it's gameplay loop.

With numerous quests to complete alongside the battle royale gameplay, there always feels like there's something to do.

Yes we can talk about the seedy monetization and how it popularized battle passes, but A. I've been going infinite for a while, and B. I'm a grown ass man screw you.

Also Meowscles is my vibe creature (aka "what white people mean when they say Spirit Animal"). 

Thrash Panda is still my furson-

OLD GAME OF THE YEAR RUNNERS UP:

5. Portal 2 (Xbox 360 BC)- Portal 2 has A LOT more story than its predecessor, leading you through an interesting mystery about the history of Aperture Science, but unfortunately has a lot more game, losing the short-and-sweet, lighting-in-a-bottle the first game had. 

4. Chroma Squad (PC)- A tactical strategy that doesn't seem like anything special, but it has a lot of Tokusatsu (Power Rangers, namely) references and a very DIY sheen over the whole presentation, which is always a plus in my book. 

3. Horizon Chase Turbo (Switch)- When people say "This game saved my life", they mean an emotional experience that got them through hard times, but Horizon Chase Turbo saved my life by being short, quick nostalgic fun while I was on a job site where I had to monitor valves over night every 10 minutes. 

2. Later Alligator (PC)- SmallBu, the duo responsible for the adorably surreal Baman Piderman, bring their animation antics to a PC minigame colection that sells every joke with a bouncy sense of style, set to a soundtrack by 2Mello, who was also responsible for 2064: Read Only Memories.

#1 OLD GAME OF THE YEAR: Yakuza 0

This game is so fucking cool. 

I've heard rumblings about how insane the series gets, but now that it's making its way onto the Xbox, I was finally able to dip my toes into the water and let me tell you, this game was very much my jam.

You play as two Yakuza, Kazuma Kiryu and Goro Majima, and the story has you switch between them as you unfold a real estate conspiracy in the fictional metropolis of Kamurocho, Japan. 

The story has lots of little twists and turns but none of that matters to the how right the game feels on some kind of primal level. Combat is designed so that no matter what fighting style you use, every hit and signature move (dubbed "Heat Moves") will have you go "OH FUCK YES!". Even during instances when you run into multiple combat scenarios in a row, the moves offer just a slight enough variation to keep things from getting boring. 

Between major story missions, you can do a variety of side missions, and in between those are a bevy of side distractions for you to take part in: pool, darts, slot car racing, casino gambling, mahjong, shogi, and SO much more that make the city more interesting to be a part of than as just a hub to do missions in. 

Even in smaller interactions, the writing kept we wanting to poke around more because it's my favorite kind of humor: Complete Bullshit Presented With A Straight Face. During the main game, you're a hard faced yaukza solving all your problems with brutal violence, but during the side stories, you're a hard faced yakuza solving all your problems with brutal violence, who is also helping a guy in a jacket cross a bridge, or helping a man propose to his wife by finishing a crossword puzzle.

Also, Nugget.

The game is regularly on sale for the PC for a steal, and it's part of Xbox Game Pass, so there's no reason to continue to put of playing through any of the games. 

NEW GAME OF THE YEAR RUNNERS UP:

5. Coffee Talk (Switch)- I played this game snuggled up in bed before I went to sleep, and only played one night per night, which set the perfect vibe for this game about making people comfy in a version of Fantasy Seatttle while Lo-Fi Hip Hop plays in the background.

4. Fall Guys: Ultimate Knockout (PC)- This game is a delight to watch via GrandPOOBear's Fallmania, and now that more content is being made per season, the game is interesting enough to follow up with on occasion for a few rounds, especially now that every level has some kind of variation that can be thrown in, so it's improved a lot since release. 

3. Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 1 + 2 (Xbox One)- Holy shit, they got it right, and though the game added mechanics from later games, it gets by on being a solid update of the first two titles, which is really what everyone wanted all along. 

2. Animal Crossing: New Horizons (Switch)- Yeah, it's a basic bitch option, but this game kept me in touch with my friends when we were still at least 3/4-assing all this pandemic shit, so for that, the game deserves kudos as one of the most important games of the year.

 #1 NEW GAME OF THE YEAR: Hades (Switch)

GOD DAMN.

Yes, it'll top a lot of lists this year, but that's because everything in this game works to its advantage. 

Rouge-likes may be a dime-a-dozen, but since you play as Zagreus, the son of Hades, God of the Dead, that means you are immortal, and the fact that you can and will die has been factored into the story, as a botched run suddenly becomes a new opportunity to advance the plot and learn more about the denizens of the underworld. 

Once you master the snappy combat, everything else becomes a welcome challenge, with you taking on more hindrances with the Pact of Punishment, dealing with less optimal boon builds, and trying to manipulate things so you can get those last few minor fates.

Even when combat gets stale, and you're pushing on until that next time you beat Hades himself, the writing is so well developed, giving you juuuuust enough to chew on until you come back the next run, and every line of dialogue is delivered with personality that typical gameplay dialouge becomes interesting enough to slow down and read.

ANNUAL REMINDER I SHARE A BIRTHDAY WITH MC BAT COMMANDER  

NOW WITH A NEW ALBUM, "KOOKY SPOOKY! IN STEREO!!!"