STATE OF THE BASTARD 2025

TOO BUSY LIVIN' TO BE BLOGGIN'

Yes, I know I don't post much here anymore, and yes, I'm aware of all the goddamn problems going on in the world, and we're at a dangerous precipice, but... you can get reminders of that anywhere. I'm not here to be "the #Resistance" or "get your mind off of it, Soundwave made cookies!", in fact, looking at what music I made this year, I might make it worse!

While I only put out two songs (four if you count the two I did for the VNs, more on those later), and they focused a lot on MORTALITY, I still did a lot that I'm proud of.

I played shows, and collabed with friends...

 

I got into making art... 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I've streamed a lot on Twitch... 

And most importantly... I fell in love!

 

 

If you've followed me elsewhere, you're more than familiar with him... ;) Jeff and I have been talking for a couple years, and when I met him at Megaplex 2023, I spent the entire weekend with him because we got a long so well. Things kept up, and in Megaplex 2024, we finally gave into to that tension we've long held on to, and it's such a relief to have someone that makes me happy, even on bad days. Someone who I can talk to anything about. Someone I can melt into and be insufferable with. 

Turns out all that shit I said last year about "good things can just happen you", and "telling the little voice to shut up when shit's going good" actually made sense!

This is the point where I talk about what I made so let's get on with it: 

MOST RECENT SONG: "Death Of A Bastard" 

"My friends would be too busy to come to my funeral" became "My friends and family are too dumb to solve a post death riddle to find my riches" and I was bouncing a few ideas back and forth between friends whether it could be a song or even a full on concept albums where all my usual suspect collaborators become the typical characters you see in those kinds of stories, "The Widow That Grieves A Lot But Did It", "Money Grubbing Uncle", "Love Interest That Saves the Protag at the last Minute", etc. 

 

I knew I wanted it something slower placed and more early-00s emo sounding.

The twist to make it turn out "less sad" came after I realized, "Well I have Jeff now!"

...and we watched Clue as part of movie night. 

 

And that's how it REALLY happened! Now time for me to go home and have sex with my wife husband boyfriend!

FAVORITE SONG I MADE THIS YEAR: "Grey Muzzle" 

Only did two songs this year because I've been so busy otherwise. but at least they were important songs to me about facing "The End" and "what comes next". "Grey Muzzle" was my way of comforting myself as I'm getting older, and it helps I'm dating a man who's ACTUALLY going grey, but still, we're moving forward and being alive is enough, because being alive means IT'S NOT OVER YET

OTHER COOL SHIT I DID

Chord Progressions

OK, there's ONE MORE track I did this year that I co-wrote for Chord Progressions. The song is called "Fuck Around and Find Out", and the song was BowserPuma learning my songwriting process and how to make shit in Reaper. I taught him some of the basics of what I do, and then I gave the riffs he was thinking of some structure and added words to them. A high point was us playing it together at MFF last year! 

 

Road Kill

 

OK, there's ONE MORE OTHER song I released this year, but in my defense I finished it last year... You should be hearing updates on Chapter 2 very soon! 

I Made A Visual Novel!

I'm stopping it FOR NOW, but at least I can see it be written off and make a little story that people can be satisfied with as a prequel to RPG Pals Club.

 

Raccoon City Thrashers Shirt! 

 

 

Drawn by MY BOYFRIEND and designed by Enbiety!

Fox In The Fedora Season 3

I did some VO work for the show and a big epic musical number but I don't know if those will be out by then so keep an eye out for that.

TREND I LIKED THE LEAST: Capitulating In Advance

Trump was reelected, and the morning after I got stuck in the worst traffic jam in YEARS having to go to Miami at 5:30 AM, and that felt very apt: forces outside of our control got us stuck in a bad situation, and they could have gotten resolved years ago but that would have been too much investment and too much work, and the best we can do is keep our hands on the wheel so we don't crash before we get to where we're going. 

 

Though there's some dipshit who's also stuck in traffic going "HAHA YOU'RE TRIGGERED!". He's actually five cars behind you. 

 

Even if the jackbooted thugs never come out to kill all the queers and browns, every other Republican administration has been AT BEST Smash-and-Grab Capitalism, where the people who promised they'd make eggs and gas cheaper gave their power over to people who run Publix and Exxon, while cutting funding to the people that check the eggs, and use the gas for public transit.

 

The #Resistance Liberalism has been replaced with on the one hand, a heavy sigh and "UGH, not this shit again" while we load up a shotgun, and on the other hand...

"Hey, let's give the guy we've been saying is a fascist will destroy democracy a chance and peacefully transfer power! He only said he'll be a dictator for ONE DAY! January 6th was our biggest talking point for keeping out of the limelight, but c'monnnnn! Let's work with the Ketamine addicted illegal immigrant Neo-Nazi! Instead of forcing him to enact his bullshit and call his bluff, let's just let him do it! We're not going to do anything these last two months to safeguard anything, and it was YOUR FAULT we didn't do a ceasefire"

 

It's rule FUCKING ONE. You don't have to give assholes SHIT. 

TREND I LIKED THE MOST: GamerGate 2 Being More Pathetic And Reaffirming My Stance On Art

You've heard me on my Pomodoro Streams and earlier this very post and last year's State Of The Bastard where I talk about AI, but it remains the same: making stuff yourself is worth it. DIY is worth the effort, and even if it sucks, you have a new skill and you can say you did it. Every little decision in the process of making things is another thing you're personally bringing into the world.

 

There's a HUGE swath of people willing to help you out because they love making things too. The one HUGE lesson I've learned from the furry subculture is the value of community. Opening up to others and receiving the affection back makes you just want to give back more. Even when the world gets you down, this attitude of creation will be a stake you can claim was yours.

Which is more than I can say about the worthless peasants who declare themselves to be "fighting the Woke DEI Mind Virus" and "Making Gaming Great Again". Never doing anything themeselves, since, you know, producing non-AI art or making a game means you might get criticized.

 

I had a lot more written about this shit, but there's nothing these people produce: All the YT rant videos copy each other, and there's no GAMES to speak of produced by these people, only games that have been latched on to.

WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME ABOUT THIS SOONER? Literally Anything About Art

I improved a FUCK TON on the art front, especially with Jeff and Andy teaching me a lot. Seriously, looking through a sketchbook Jeff gifted me and Enbiety before FWA and seeing how much better all my studies and sketches have gotten is ASTOUNDING. Especially when Andy gifted me the Wacom Intuos tablet, and I could do computer art with an actual drawing implement, not just a mouse and patience.
The earliest piece I did at the beginning of the year:

 

My most recent art:

 

 

 

(his name is Vinchenzo and he's a douchebag, he sucks, I love him) BUT IT'S DAY AND NIGHT.

DIDN'T LISTEN TO MUCH MUSIC SADLY, BUT POP MUSIC GAVE US CHAPPELL ROAN THIS YEAR SO LET'S HONOR HER HERE

New Years Resolution #1: Listen To More New Music

Also liked "Not Like Us". Yaaaay

OLD GAMES OF 2024 RUNNERS UP

5. Marlow Briggs And The Mask Of Death (PC): The best $1 you will ever spend on a video game, even if it's impactful "FUCK YEAH!" gameplay gets long in the tooth toward the end. 

4. Brothers: A Tale Of Two Sons (PC): A very efficient game that takes it novel control scheme and wrings every drop out of it, while avoiding going on too long like the studio's later games.

3. The Sly Cooper Trilogy (PS2): Theivus Raccoonus holds up well, Band of Theives was a welcome if bloated departure and the third game went on too long, but Sly-Day Friday gave us some comedy gold.

 

2. Bomb Rush Cyberfunk (PC): My BOYFRIEND (see above) got this for me, and he knew what I was getting into: A combination of retro style, puzzle platforming and vibes that remain chill even when messing up hard jumps. It's a game I chill out with whenever I'm not playing it on stream. 

#1 OLD GAME OF 2024: Killer 7 (PC)

 

 

 

 

 

Another one courtesy of MY BOYFRIEND, this one stands up as game designer Suda51's seminal work. You play as an assassin, Harlan Smith, who is remotely controlling seven distinct personalities, all of which who have different combat abilites and are used for different puzzles throughout the game. 

I highlight the fact that it's a puzzle game first and formeost, even though the unique combat is a "Rail Shooter" where you choose to move which direction you go to along pre-determined paths and have to shoot invisible enemies that you can only see when in "firing mode", because the puzzles and navigation are what the game is really about, and every word matters.

It's easy to say "LOL WEIRD JAPAN!" or "PRETENTIOUS" when the style is so distinct neo-noir, the cast and characters are full of Goichi Suda's indulgences (the assassins are named after The Smiths, one of them patterned after a luchador, etc.), half the bosses are anime girls, and the gameplay is so unconventional. However that belies a greater story that thematically has more relevance today than when it first released in 2005.

 

SPOILER WARNING

The entire premise of the game is an East-West conflict (thought the Eastern power is Japan, not China), the perpetrators of either side (Kun Lan and Harlan Smith) are not really affected by the events of the game, since no matter what your decision was in the game's epilogue, (spare a politician to allow Japan to start WWIII or execute him and have Japan nuked AGAIN) both characters are like "Welp, here we go again!". The events of the game were kicked off by a terrorist plot that got in the way of World Peace, which reflects a cynicism that "War won't end, because people 'bigger' than us keeps wanting it to happen."

 

The final proper level of the game uncovers a conspiracy which states that the Secretary of Education determines who rules the government, since elections are held in schools. Again, relevant when you consider that the Republican Party in the U.S. are more focused on stuffing the courts, which determines which laws can be enforced and can therefore let the people they like get away with anything!

SPOILERS END

If you critically consume what you play, then killer7 will give you plenty to chew on. It's nowhere near perfect, but the bewilderment you'll face every step of the way makes it worth your time, and makes it the best old game I played in 2024. I have no intention of going back, but I think about this game all the time. 

Also you can play as a luchador with grenade launcher and headbutts bullets out of the air.

NEW GAMES OF 2024 RUNNERS UP

5. Paper Trail (PC): Like Brothers, it takes its puzzle mechanics to the absolute limit, and guides you gently enough to where you feel like a smarty whenever you solve the next puzzle, as to be expected from the developer's previous game, Hue. 

 

4. Mouthwashing (PC): I liked the GAMEPLAY of Paper Trail over that of (what little of it there was it) in Mouthwashing, but the overall presentation of its story and an OH SHIIIIIT moment early in the game made me bump it up a spot to give it a recommendation as a game you need to experience.

3. Crow Country (PC): A lot of reviews are copping to the obvious Resident Evil and FF7 comparisons, but it can very much stand aside those games in a PS1 demo-disc, especially when it has plenty of new tricks up its sleeve and some desperately needed QoL changes that make this go down smoother as it ramps up the overworld difficulty in the late game. 

 

2. Strange Scaffold's Output in 2024 (Life Eater, Clickolding, I Am Your Beast) (PC): Strange Scaffold did A LOT to pad out my games to beat in 2024, and this is a studio to watch because Xalavier Nelson Jr.'s and his team have a penchant for making games that are spontaneous, yet confident, whether it's the "behind the scenes of Saw" horror of Life Eater, the visceral "FUCK YEAH" thrills of I Am Your Beast, or the ability to turn an inside joke into a game like Clickolding. 

#1 NEW GAME OF 2024: Balatro (PC)

 

 

 

 

I have not played this game in months because I physically had to stop myself. It was incredible seeing people scoff at "Poker With Spells", only to say "I get it..." an hour after playing. The game was more or less developed by one guy as a coding practice, and shot up to Game Of The Year nominations all over the internet. 

Winning your first run feels like a hard fought victory, and higher stakes require zeroing on the optimal strategy of what you've been presented. I've not made any Galaxy Brained plays, but like Vampire Survivors, I had to keep this game out of sight, out of mind because otherwise, I would play this game at every opportunity. 

However, I still yearn to reintroduce this game in to my life because it's so well designed. Like with Deus Ex, any time anyone mentions it, I still need to replay it and I get a liiiiiittle more back into it each time.

ANNUAL REMINDER I SHARE A BIRTHDAY WITH MC BAT COMMANDER

Actually, Christian Jacobs let me down this year:
-The AI video for "Whatever! Forever!"
-The weird tangents from the live show I saw in Ft. Lauderdale (even though for the most part the band was incredible)
-Him and his brother Parker Jacobs split ways with their brother Tyler, who helped with a lot of creative decisions for the band, and then Tyler got divorced, became homeless for a time, and then got disowned when he came out as bisexual a few years after they were out of his life.

Allegedly MCBC has been trying to repair things, and he isn't as much of a whackjob as Parker, but this just puts everything in a bad light and leaves me feeling a little sour over someone I've seen as a guiding light for so many years. 

Though there is a lesson in that. MCBC has to be MCBC, I don't. I can be me. 

Maybe something else will go in this section next year, but right now I'll leave you some lyrics from "Grey Muzzle" that will keep you around until then:
It goes to say
That we're still in play
And that's a damn good reason to sta