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Wednesday, December 14, 2011

CHRISTMAS FUNTIME 2011: Short Story "Deadline"

All right, I just finished up the pic for this week's Broadcast From The Bunker, and that will be up in time for the show on Thursday.

So, since Wednesday is usually Video Of The Week time, and I still want something for Christmas Funtime 2011, here's the short story I submitted to Harmonix along with my resume for Narrative Designer:

----------------------

A rat lay open on the table, guts on display. It was clamped down on the tray, its tiny heart beating rapidly with fear. The professor removed it with utmost precision. Blood started oozing out.

“Now, the only organ this process does not work on is the brain,” he said. I scribbled down some notes in my pad. “However, even with that limitation, this can do some tremendous good.” I took a picture with my camera.

Before my very eyes, it seemed like the arteries grew, then formed together at the ends into a grape-sized lump. The lump began to beat again, as if nothing ever happened. “I don’t believe this!” I said. “This will make a great story! Thanks, Professor West!” I took another picture.

“Yes, this is quite remarkable. In fact, even more interesting is that a minute amount of blood can cause the gene to transfer.” He stitched up the rat and smiled proudly. The rat crawled again, as if nothing had happened. It stumbled a little, and moved much more slowly than before. “Well, the little bugger was cut open.”

“Any chances of this working on a human?”

“Testing may start sooner than you think…”

“When?”

“Now.” I was all ready to run to the exit, when he opened another door, revealing a man living in a spartan dormitory. He was very thin, and had a lot of scruff on his face. He looked at peace, sitting on his bed, reading a book. “You see, Fred here was homeless man until he volunteered to help with my experiment. Figured he had nothing else to lose, yeah?”

“How long has he been here?”

“About a week,” Fred said. “Best week of my life so far!”

“Are you ready for the test now?” Professor West asked.

“Sure am.”

“Good, good.” I took another picture. “I’d appreciate it if you took no more pictures.” He withdrew a needle and a vial, and injected its contents into Fred. Fred winced a bit, but after, he rubbed his neck and laughed.

“I’m gonna be fine, right?”

"Hopefully. Don’t worry, though. We’ll start minor. You still have your appendix, right?”

“Yeah, one of the only things I’ve managed not to lose”

“What if it doesn’t work?” I asked.

Fred looked down and sighed. “It’s OK. At least I’m going out with a smile.” He plastered a big grin on his face.

“Failure is part of the scientific process” said West. He looked down at his watch. He started heading out the door. “Good. Good. We’ll I’m off to yet another lecture right now,” he sighed as he closed the door behind him. “If you really want to see something really amazing, come back tomorrow.” I heard Fred say goodbye just as the door slammed shut.

The next day, I returned to Professor West’s lab to find Fred on the table. His wrists and ankles were clamped down. Fred just sat there without a tear in his eye.

Professor West came in wearing a lab coat and very thick gloves. “Well, let’s get started then, shall we?” He put Fred under with anesthetic. Fred turned his head and looked me right in the eyes just as he slipped into unconsciousness. I didn’t say anything.

West made an incision and got to work. He opened it up a bit to show me. When he wasn’t looking, I snuck a picture with my cellphone.

“This is so awesome,” I whispered.

“Yeah, isn’t it?” He put the appendix on the table and just stood there, arms crossed. “Now for the really awesome part.”

Within minutes, the hole in the cecum, the pouch that connects the small and large intensi- ties, where the appendix is located, started to close up. The covering drooped lower to form a small pouch.

“And that, my boy, is his new appendix”

"Wow.”

“What do you say we take this one step further?” West removed Fred’s liver. Normally the liver looks like a raw chicken breast, smooth and pink. However, Fred must have been one of “those” bums, since it was a brown, rough mess. West took it out, and again, a new liver reformed. The points at which the incisions were made turned from brown to pink, and tissue began to reform anew.

“And now Fred has a new liver!” He looked at me, but I stayed silent. West stitched Fred back up. “He’ll come to in a few minutes.”

I wanted to ask West some more questions, but with something this big, I was afraid of the answer. “So…why?”

“Why not? Disease and cancer would be a trillion times easier and safer to cure.”

"How do you see benefiting from this?”

“Hell, do you know how much they work me here? They’ve got me in all these classes doing lectures for students who could care less, doing research for the University’s sake, and all this other administrative bull I have to cut through, all for a meager salary. I’m going to sell it off to the highest bidder.”

“Highest bidder?”

“I’d rather be on a pharmaceutical corporation’s payroll than a University’s” he said, rolling his eyes.

“Wow. You guys put up with a lot, huh?”

“You know this project represents weeks and weeks of all-nighters? My hands are tied up in a hundred different other things during the day, so I work at night. But if Fred here wakes up, then I know all my work was worth it.”

Fred did. He was groggy, but other than that, he was all right. Professor West laughed and dashed over to the table. “Easy now, easy. Can you speak?”

Fred smiled. “Yeah, I’m fine. Did it work?”

“Like a charm, old boy, like a charm!” He looked right at me, tears swelling up in his eyes. “I bet this will make great story for your paper, eh?”

“Great, great!” Fred managed to smile. He had a good smile.

However, his eyes rolled back into his head, and his gums started bleeding.

“God, he’s going through convulsions! Go get help!”

I ran out as fast as I could, dialing 911 on my cell phone as I dashed through the halls. Luckily, campus paramedics were on the scene a couple minutes later.

“We got your call. Where’s the problem?” I lead them to Professor West’s lab. Unfortunately, neither of them were there.

“We need to find them!”

"I’ll search the east wing, you guys take west!”

We dashed off, my trepidation growing. I had no stake in the matter, but I figured I’d see this story through to the end. I saw a woman on the floor in pain.

“Oh my god! What happened?”

“Some guy attacked me!”

“Who?”

“I don’t remember too well. He had a beard, kinda thin and pale…”

Fred…

I ran into the main hallway and tried to call the paramedics over. Unfortunately, she was gone by the time I turned around. The EMT guys gave me a condescending glare. “Listen, sir. Is there anyone here who needs medical attention? Otherwise, you’re wasting our time.”

“I swear to God, stuff is going down. Everything is just moving so fast I-”

“Call us when you have a real emergency”

They left, slamming the door behind them.

There’s something going on, and my deadline is tonight.

As I walked out of the building, I saw another woman, just like before, on the floor holding her shoulder. I rushed to get help, but she stood up, went into a nearby office, and got a first aid kit.

“I’m fine, I’m fine” She wrapped the bandages around her arm quickly, and never once stopped looking at the wound.

“Are you OK?”

“Oh, someone just gave me a little cut.” I was tempted to call the paramedics, but I didn’t want to head down that road again.

“Let me guess… beard, kinda thin, pale?”

“No, no, she-“

“She?”

“Yes, it was one of the PhD students. You’ve seen her around, short, long dark hair, Asian…”

“Shit…” That was the girl Fred assaulted. “Are you sure you’re going to be OK?”

“I’m fine, I’m fine! I’ll just get some water.” She walked over to the fountain. As I watched her drink, I saw the water turn red. She felt her mouth, and ran to the bathroom.

-who can blame them?

They walk through asphalt cemete-

I took out my cell phone. It was West.

“Hello?”

“Needless to say, I don’t want this published…”

“What?”

“If word gets out about this, I’ll not only lose tenure, but they’ll probably give me the death sentence!”

“I don’t care. I have to publish it. Lives are in danger.”

“Can’t you just say it works? Omit the side effects?”

“You know what? You said it yourself: Failure is part of the scientific process.”

“Think of m-” CLICK.

The clock on my cell phone read 9:20 PM. Less than three hours to go.

The office to the school paper was on the top floor of the library. The elevator was taking for- ever. I dashed up the stairs, taking two at a time. This story just had to get out. I took another look at my cell phone: 9:30 PM. Two and a half hours to go. Without much time to spare, I burst into the room and threw off of any writer I saw dicking around on Facebook.

“Whoa, whoa, dude, what’s your hurry?”

“I have something that’s just insane. Don’t bother me right now.”

“What’s it on?”

“You know how I said I was going to do an article on Professor West?”

“Yeah…”

“It’s gotten a lot worse. Just let me type.”

“All right. Some of us are going out to the diner if you-”

“No time.”

He left.

10 PM. Two hours to go, and I still had trouble coming up with a headline. “Ah, let the editors worry about that one.” I said.

My fingers flew across the keyboard as I hammered out possibly the only thing that could save everyone. The fluorescent lights flickered above, as the little clacks of the keys rang out through the empty office. Suddenly, everything went gray. My eyelids shook uncontrollably as I fought to stay focus.

But it was no use.

The next thing I remember was looking at the clock, and being even more tense than I was an hour ago.

Just then, the editor walked in. “Listen, if you want, go home, get some rest, and you can send it in tomorrow morning. We don’t publish until- ”

“No time. It needs to be out as soon as possible.”

“What’s so important? Should I call the police or something?”

“Nobody would believe me.”

He folded his arms and smiled. “You have sources?”

“Yeah.”

“Pictures?”

“Yeah.”

“All right, try me.” He gave my article a quick glance. His smile fell. “All right. I see where you’re going with this. Whenever you’re done, you’re done. Just relax. The issues already gone to print, I’m sure it can wait till tomorrow.”

Easy for him to say.

When that issue came out, I took a good, hard look at everyone picking it up in the library. There I was, right on the inside cover. But they weren’t shocked or scared, they were laughing. Some gave it only a sly smirk, others gave big hearty laughs and showed to their friends with an “Oh, shit! Dude, have you seen this?”

Without thinking, I leaped up on to the near- est table. “ARE YOU PEOPLE DENSE? HAVE YOU ACTUALLY READ THIS? DON’T YOU REALIZE HOW SERIOUS THIS IS?”

“Are you the guy that wrote this?” asked the girl whose coffee I accidentally knocked over.

“Yes.”

“Oh, it’s really good!”

“Did you even read the damn thing?”

“Yeah, man. It’s hilarious! This Photoshop work is sick!” said the guy sitting next to her.

“You, all of you, are goddamn illeterates.” I snatched the paper from the girl and opened the cover. There was my article, right on the second page. Not a word out of place, every picture helping tell the grim story I witnessed in that lab.

Then I looked at the date: April 1.

Once I opened my mouth, it went silent.

Anything I said fell on deaf ears, even mine.

I banged my head against the wall. The padded asylum walls felt comfortable, even after 20 minutes. Sometimes they let me out of the straight jacket, and I can still see the blood on my hands. Dinner was the same as last night: a vaguely meatish product, a piece of bread, and cold peas.

The doctors haven’t come around yet. I shuf- fled over to the cell door. It was silent, save for some faint groans. It happened to them, too.

All because my article on West’s Zombie Pandemic came out a day late.

Monday, December 12, 2011

CHRISTMAS FUNTIME 2011: Tony Hawk In Review

Tony Hawk's Pro Skater series is coming back as a downloadable title compiling select levels from the first two games. So far only "School" and "Downhill" from the first game are confirmed.

For Christmas Funtime, I'm going to a rough retrospective.

Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 1 is probably the one game I keep coming back to. I remember renting it back when it first came out, and barely knowing how string a combo. I didn't get far, but more than anything I loved the soundtrack: "Superman" by Goldfinger, "Police Truck" by The Dead Kennedys and "Jerry Was A Race Car Drive" by Primus, are all great songs- that got cut to shit on the Nintendo 64 version due to its limited storage capabilities. As I've mentioned before, I'm a sucker for getting a game just for the soundtrack, and of all the THPS I've ROM'd, this is the one I always go back to. The only difference it feels so limiting after the sequels.

Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2 was the first THPS game I bought, and the first time I played through career mode, in the first level, The Hangar, I thought "This is bullshit, it's Warehouse, But Also Again. Then I launched off the vert ramp at the far edge of the wall, and crashed through a window.

"Oh. Nevermind. :(" I can speak in emoticons. What?

The best memory I have this game was trying to 100% everything in the game while my right wrist was in a cast summer of 2001. I think I got all the goals, but then I went after the gaps. Kids, this was life before Trophies and Acheivements. Oh, crap! I just remembered that Tony Hawk HD will have Trophies and Achievements!

The manual was a more welcome addition the more I got used to it, and it seemed like this game was more suited toward "street" skating.

THPS 2 for the Game Boy Color was just eh, and the GBA version was a little frustrating with the top down view.

THPS 3, I played on the Gamecube the winter after my family got the Gamecube. I remember we went on a trip to Niagara Falls, drove there, and me and my brother could each rent one game to keep us occupied while they were at the casino. My choice was, obviously, THPS3. I also played a bootleg version of it for the PC.

Being able to Revert was a huge deal. You could go up a ramp, do a trick or 7, come down, Revert, then manual, and still keep a combo going. It felt like cheating but it was SOOO GOOD, and brought vert ramps back into play. The levels were bigger still. but it kept 2 minute time limit and you can tell that it was getting to be a little constraing. Most of the time I'd one PERFECT spot to rack up a lot of points, but getting there took up half my run time.

Which brings us to THPS4. Another rental, but I didn't get too far into this one. There was an open world, and if I remember right, there were some overall goals (i.e. get XXX,000 points, etc.), so there was something to do in between the challenges you got in the course, and you can progress without beating them.

Now to what I thing to be the series' peak: Tony Hawk Underground. Other than two minor complaints, I loved everything this game had to offer: The levels (from a place in New York I actually recognize!), the soundtrack (Dropkick Murphy's "Time To Go"!, Social Distortion's "Mommy's Little Monster"!, Rubber City Rebels's "Pierce My Brain!", KISS!), and while in previous games, the levels got slightly bigger, only hinting at a sense of progression, the story gave everything a little more oomph (forgive me, I was in high school), like I, the Rhythm Bastard, were making it big in the world of skate.

The two minor things I mentioned earlier:
1. There was a feature where you could upload a picture of yourself to a website, and your custom skater would be able to play through the game with your face. It was fucking broken.

2. Speaking of fucking broken, by hitting (DOWN+RIGHT) and tapping Grind button twice, you could execute the Darkslide, and it automatically set your balance bar back to the middle. That would get abused ALL THE TIME in online games, especially on the Moscow level. I'd finish a run, and for another five minutes, people would still be skating around. It wasn't uncommon to see 7-digit scores. There was some clan, I remember, where you were assigned a letter based on your score. The lowest to join was, 1,000,000 and you got a letter of Z. People were getting 26,000,000 points on a "two" minute run.

The next game I played the hell out of was American Sk8land for the DS. It was portable classic Tony Hawk. I loved it.

However, the most important thing that came out of this game was that because I listened to these two songs so much, I knew them so well, (due to playing Sk8land anytime I was in a waiting room, bathroom or car ride), they became the first songs I learned how to play on guitar:

"Holiday" by Green Day and "Clash City Rockers" by The Clash.

Really, that right there ties all of this into a nice little retrospective bow, and so many nice, warm memories came back to me writing it.

But then I got a free copy of Tony Hawk Ride with my Xbox 360. That game was broken as shit, and it can go fuck itself, and the only thing of value was that I traded it into Blockbuster where I got $30 credit toward Beatles Rock Band Deluxe.

THPS HD, barring any horrific changes, is a Day 1 buy for me.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

CHRISTMAS FUNTIME 2011: Broadcasts From The Bunker Premire!

Hey! Did you catch my weekly radio show "The Bunker" this Thursday? No?

Damn! Every week I'll put up a highlight from that week's episode, and a little picture drawn by me!

So from the December 1st, 2011 Bunker Broadcast, I present to you a moment of insanity:
THE ANGRY VIDEO GAME BIRD-



Look for The Bunker on Ozone Radio Thursday Nights at 9!

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

CHRISTMAS FUNTIME 2011: December 7th, 2011 Videos Of The Week

It is a day that will live in infamy: The day I officially unleash "Invisiball" onto an unsuspecting populace.

LIVE VIDEO OF THE WEEK: "Invisiball" by The Rhythm Bastard in The Bunker


This too a few tries to get right, but it worked really well as an acoustic song. "Invisiball" came literally five minutes after my friends asked me to start doing music. The clapping/drum intro comes from the song I was supposed to Swede, "Centerfield" by John Fogerty.

VIDEO CONTAINING MUSIC OF THE WEEK: Dino Hunter MD Episode 4, "Invisiball"

Dino Hunter MD - Episode 4 - "Invisiball" from Cannibal Troll on Vimeo.


My favorite part is how "Pass The Class" is used just as Derek Maslo says "I feel a montage coming on!"

Monday, December 5, 2011

CHRISTMAS FUNTIME 2011: I'm Really Surprised "Are You Gonna Be My Girl"....

Hasn't been used for an episode of Glee.

The most overplayed song NOT on the show that will take anything it can get?

Glee did "Friday" for fuck's sake.


The world kind of makes sense when you realize there's no God.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

CHRISTMAS FUNTIME 2011: How To Make Nickelback Not Suck



This came out more than a week ago, and since this week's Video Of The Week will be dedicated to whoring myself out, I decided to do the Advent and post this up today.

Just goes to that sometimes when you break something down, then rebuild it in a new and interesting way, the end result is much better.

The parts are fine, it's the construction worker that's the idiot.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

November 30th, 2011 Videos Of The Week

LIVE VIDEO OF THE WEEK: “Cadaver Clutch” by Proxima Control

I’m putting this up because for the second time in a row, I’ve missed seeing these guys and I’m sorry, because it looks like a lot of fun. The lead singer, Jack, and I were going to play together at one point (he used to be a drummer), but something came up last minute. He and Proxima Control are kicking ass right now, and I’m glad it’s working out so well.

MUSIC VIDEO OF THE WEEK: “Pac Man Fever” by Bruckner and Garcia

R.I.P. Gary Garcia. I had these songs stuck in my head for the next day after hearing them during testing.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Fuck It, It's My Blog

Ooh, Update Time?

Yeah, sure.

1. Thing I've been working on the most? Application to Harmonix for Narrative Designer. Working on the writing sample now. It's been hanging over my head for a while, and I just want to get it done.

2. Working on a couple new songs, AND a new video.

3. "This Gigantic Robot Kills" needs a re-do on the vocal section, but I should have it re-uploaded by Monday.

4. I recorded video of myself on last week's episode of The Bunker. Once I edit it up and splice the songs in, I'll post up something on blip.tv.

5. Fuck you, it's my blog.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

November 9th, 2011 Videos Of The Week

LIVE VIDEO OF THE WEEK: "White Trash" and "Greenback Fly" by Southern Culture On The Skids


I came upon this song (eewww) via the teaser trailer for the movie that may or may not be coming based on The Goon, the state of which is in a "dissappointed limbo" along side Deadpool.

"White Trash" is short, but with a lot of punch. I like the songs where I feel the riffs being slung at me like sloppy joes by a careless cafeteria lady. Hailing from North Carolina, the redneck schtick is legit, and even speaking as a Northerner, I welcome you and your rockabilly-blues-punk wholeheartedly into my Winamp.

MUSIC VIDEO OF THE WEEK: "Satisfied" by Tom Waits


Tom Waits, I will buy your new album with all my money dollars. The video itself isn't much to look at, but it's a really good song, and Waits has always come from a long line of doing not-videos, which will probably be the subject of next Video Of The Week.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

October 26th, 2011 Videos Of The Week

LIVE VIDEO OF THE WEEK: "Tubthumping" by Chumbawumba covered by They Might Be Giants


White people.

But seriously folks, I'm loving the A.V. Club Undercover series. I want to a batch of covers of my own. Someday...

MUSIC VIDEO OF THE WEEK: "Rolling In The Deep" by Adele


Normally I despise Top 40, but this really stood out to me as very intimate song, with a strong, primal beat. Florence and the Machine's "Dog Days Are Over" is similar, but unlike "Rolling", "Dog Days" never really did it for me. I'm not sure why.

I have no fucking clue what's going on in the video, so I won't try to decipher it. There's no real story bring told, but it goes along with the line in the song "But you played it to the beat". The plates cracking on the pane, the rows of water glasses, the drummer, and everything kicking in at just the right time supersede the action itself. What matters is that this all going to the beat.

But seriously, what the fuck is up with the cocaine ninja?

Thursday, October 13, 2011

October 12th, 2011 Videos Of The Week

THE BEST VIDEO OF ALL KINDS EVER: Dino Hunter MD, Episode 2: Attack Of The Robotmen!


Featuring my song, "Robotman's Lament"!

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

October 5th, 2011 Videos Of The Week

UPDATE FROM THE BUNKER!

Now back to our regular show:
LIVE VIDEO OF THE WEEK: "Uprising" by Muse at the Fuji Rock Festival

Muse is always a great live band. Thank you Muse for helping a brother out.

"Uprising" is the Muse song for Guitar Hero: Warriors Of Rock. It's really simple, but I think it ties into the game thematically, with the whole RISE AGAINST THE BEAST thing.

MUSIC VIDEO OF THE WEEK: "Red Flag" by Billy Talent


What does the red flag mean anyway? Politically it's been used to signal Socialism or leftist politics in general, which confuses me as an American, since the Right leaning states are known as "Red States".

However, it's also been used to signal danger, and I think that's what the red flag mean in this video. Not starting a "socialist revolution", but warning that if things keep the way there are, we're going to be in some seriously deep shit.

"Like the smallest bee packs a sting,
Like the pawn checkmates a king,
We'll attack at the crack of dawn."

If the pawn were smart he would have bootstrapped his way to be a king.

ON A COMPLETELY UNRELATED NOTE:
Quick call back to last week: continuing my comparisons between Occupy Wall Street and Chanology, I remembered the point at which I said "This just might work!" (for Chanology)

It was the May after it first began, a video in which the head of Scientology in New York told a bunch of protestors "I smell pussy; you in particular" (5:34 in the video)

Now I had the motivation that the people they're protesting are assholes:


Those are police officers leading the group into the middle of the Brooklyn Bridge, where they arrest 700 protestors. Apparently they had "a guy" warn them, but that was for 700 people.

To help them out, J.P. Morgan Chase donated $4.6 million to the NYPD.


Then someone decides to post this on the Chicago Board Of Trade:

You fuckers.

P.S. PROTIP: If a Ron Paul supporter has his sign saying Ron Paul 2012, tell that guy now is not the time.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

September 28th, 2011 Videos Of The Week: Occupy Wall Street Edition

About two weeks ago, the Occupy Wall Street movement started, with hundreds of protestors in a little tent city standing in front of the financial district. I was extremely cynical regarding it for two reasons:
1. There is absolutely no incentive for Wall Street to give a shit about these people. At the end of the day, no matter how bad a protestor made them feel, they can always go, "WELP I STILL GOT ALL THIS MONEY" then buy a politician to make protesting illegal. You can occupy it, but you can't make it give a damn.

Anonymous can say all it's going to change the world after the success of Chanology (the protest against Scientology), but I think that was lightning in a bottle.
The reason Chanology worked is because there is a period of time after your first encounter with Scientology, whether it be a stress test table, or walk in for their movie, where they can't be sociopaths. All the disconnection (where you have to separate from non believers) and Xenu come in to play a while after that first meeting.

A Wall Street exec can go his whole life without ever looking you in the eye, and still make it so you don't have any money at the end of the day.

2. When the protest actually started, my fears were confirmed that, yes, this was going to be absolutely useless. The audience was mostly college and post college 20 somethings; the same people who show up to EVERY protest.

Then they had to move to Zuccotti Park a few blocks away, on a day when no buisness was taking place.
Then came the Tweet asking for people asking for half vegan, quarter no cheese pizza.
Then came the Ron Paul supporters and BitCoin advocates.
Then came the topless yoga classes and I became curious.

Then I wrote the thing off. The second a camera gets on these people, the word "hipster" is going to be sung from the top of the tower as it fades into obscurity, with a bunch of voices all vying for the last breath.

Then, a week later, this happened:
VIDEO OF THE WEEK #1- Woman Getting Maced By Police Officer


Then they had my sympathy.

The officer's name is Anthony Bologna, or Tony Baloney. Don't accuse him of being an asshole or anything, I bet he got picked on a lot in school, like "Tony Baloney has a tiny penis" or, "Tony Baloney will be a sad old man who will be a cop because he's too dumb to do anything instead of, you know, because he wants to protect and serve" and now he's taking it out on women who only asked what the hell was going on. Oh wait, maybe he is an asshole.

Now it's getting actual, legit support from several different unions, including the Transit Workers Union and the ALF CIO

And now I'm glad that at least someone is there. This is a legit grassroots movement. The reason the Tea Party gets all the attention is because the same people OWS is protesting put a bunch of money to get a bunch of old white people riled up. While I can understand the anger of the old white people, all that cash just gives the TP a bad aftertaste.

So, three things I hope to see going forward:
1. Get more working class, "normal" people in on the protest. It's not a "Save The Whales" thing where it only affects one enthusiastic subset, it's a subject that affects all of us:

2. Lesson from Chanology #1: Be Persistent, and Don't Be Afraid To Be Rude
VIDEO OF THE WEEK #2: NYC ANonymouse Flashmobs CLO Building

Make it clear to these people that it's not worth it to be that wealthy and work in an environment that has screwed over so many. Some have actually left Scientology because the assholes standing outside an org won't leave and supposedly their tech was supposed to handle dissenters. How would this apply to OWS?

If someone be hatin', drop some knowledge, and make them feel like crap for being such bitches.

3. Lesson from Chanology #2: Be Active

I'd love nothing more than to see 20 homeless people covered in pubes just messing with the traders. But that conteracts point 1.

Again, would adopting Chanology practices work? Chanology was weird people fighting weird people. Wall Street is an institution that, like it or not, is a part of this country, and unlike Scientology, most people have already made up their minds in some fashion.

This is pretty stupid, but I promised something like this on The Bunker this week, so there it is.

Friday, September 30, 2011

Transmission Over

I just wrapped up a set on Ozone Radio! The Ozone liked it, so I get to do more!

The show is called "The Bunker" and I broadcast it from my secret underground bunker as Radroaches gnaw on the outer breaches of my wall. ShoutCAST for WinAMP was not very cooperative, but neither were the Radroaches.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Party On The Radio

1. I'm re-uploading "College Party". There were a few problems I had with the mix listening to it in the Dino Hunter M.D. episode. Namely, the mixing was off a bit.

College Party by RhythmBastard

ON NEWGROUNDS

2. In conjunction with submitting stuff alongside the NewGrounds Audio Deathmatch, this so happens to be the Bonus Round, so I'm uploading "Pass The Class" from Robot Rising to the Audio Portal as well.I didn't make these songs within the two weeks, so I'm taking it as a freebie, since there is a song I have finished, but personal reasons are keeping me from releasing it.

3. I'm going to be on Ozone Radio from Thursday 9-10 PM, doing a live audition! The show will called "The Bunker", and if you've read the blog, then you'll kind of know what to expect music-wise, but I will take requests.

4. I made this picture for Koltreg of Socialfist and Changeling fame:


It's from Batman #1 where he has to do community service and set up a Free Hugs station. I got into a couple of the DC reboot comics, but not Batman. That reboot thing seems to be real hit or miss.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

September 14th, 2011 Videos Of The Week

LIVE VIDEO OF THE WEEK: "Knights Of Cydonia" by Muse at Wembley Stadium

The band that came into existence the day Guitar Hero 3 came out put on an excellent live show. A lot of lights, a lot of flashing, and a lot of bombast complient one of the most intense songs I've ever heard. I can't listen to a Muse song without having some a little movie playing in my head.

MUSIC VIDEO OF THE WEEK: "Babydoll" by Akira The Don

Fresh off The Life Equation, it's "Babydoll"

I don't know what song he sampled in this (Van Morrison, sounds like).
Either way, it gives the song and the video a nostalgic feeling, that takes the listener back to a simpler time that never really existed except in Hollywood.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

September 7th, 2011 Videos Of The Week

FUCK IT, THE BEST VIDEO OF ALL KINDS OF ALL THE WEEKS IS RIGHT HERE:

BEST ANY VIDEO OF EVERY TIME FOREVER: "Pterodac to School", Dino Hunter MD

Dino Hunter MD - Episode 1 - "Pterodac-to School" from Cannibal Troll on Vimeo.


You know some of those songs I mentioned back when the Robot Rising EP came out? It's finally coming into fruition. The two in this episode are "Pass The Class" and "College Party", the latter of which has been taken down for a little while. I'll take another look at it, then put it back.

Now, since I missed last week, I figured I owe it to all 0 regular readers to do this.
MUSIC VIDEO OF THE WEEK: "Lars Attacks" by MC Lars
I know I start with the live video but I'm fucking with convention ALL OVER THA PLACE!!!


I was going to put another video here, but then I remembered that today, "Lars Attacks!" comes out! I got it last week thanks to his Kickstarter campaign, along with Indie Rocket Science.

I guess I should be talking about the album itself now:

In my mind, there are two types of songs I like listening to:
"Body" music- Stuff I workout or dance to. It's dynamic (from "quiet" to "loud"), intense and upbeat, and that energy transfers into me.
E.G. Punk rock and all it's variations. Also includes dance music, such as guilty pleasures "Like A G6" and "Party Rock Anthem"

"Head" music- Music I work to, like when I'm writing or when I'm cleaning around the house, or music I can put on and wind down to. It's consistent musically, so I can let the rhythms and words wash over me.
E.G. Primarily Rap, and some metal bands fall into this category, such as Mercenary. Chiptune/8-bit music also works here.

"This Gigantic Robot Kills" is "body" music. Some of the songs are straight up rock, and it's filled with lots of high culture (Hamlet, metric system) and pop culture (90's ska, Guitar Hero) references. It's something I can put on at a party.

"Lars Attacks" is "head" music. His rapping is faster, the instrumentals are more reserved, and the material is darker. He's trying to say more in each track, and go for bigger concepts. The goofy optimistic English major still comes through, and that's what keeps it fun to listen to, even through more reflective tracks like "Judas Preist" (about The Gospel of Judas) and "Francis Bacon Slashed The Canvas".

His DIY attitude been nothing short of inspiring, and every interview I've read with him proves one ultimate point: He gives a fuck about his music. Few have been as academic or as dedicated about what they're doing than MC Lars. Even though the RBN stuff is in limbo right now, I look at everything he's doing and think, "You know what? At least he's [touring Europe/playing Warped Tour/working on this awesome new album]", and it's this progress that's made him exciting to follow.

LIVE VIDEO OF THE WEEK: The Vampires set at the Waterloo Coffee Shop in (presumably) San Diego, CA.

On the direct opposite end of the "Give A Fuck" spectrum, we have a group I found out about through the Mega 64 Forums. Not really a group, so much as an act.

But look at it. Not one fuck given. It's inspiring how little they care about what's cool. That's the kind of energy I'd love to be able to go out with.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

August 24th, 2011 Videos Of The Week

Just got back from Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes. Very good movie!

LIVE VIDEO OF THE WEEK: "Wolf Like Me" by TV On The Radio on David Letterman


Great song.

MUSIC VIDEO OF THE WEEK: "God's Away On Buisness" by Tom Waits as made famous by Cookie Monster

OK, maybe one more DIY video. Just to ween myself off.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

August 17th, 2011 Videos Of The Week: DIY Edition

A friend got me into Minecraft. My bad. And my mics fucked up right, so I had a song ready to go, but it'll have to wait.

OK, so one video I wanted to do for a long time coming was The Squeeze's "Pulling Mussels (From A Shell)". I couldn't find any decent live videos on YouTube (since the one with the best audio was when they played it slower).

VIDEO OF THE WEEK #1: "Pulling Mussels (From A Shell)"


I liked it because it seems to fit so well, and just has a nostalgic vibe to it that sort of puts me at ease.

Anyways, I was going to do a bit on some crappy homemade music videos made for actual artists, and use that on a "How To" section. However, when I did a search for such, I delved into a world that I did not anticipate. An, Uncharted Zone so to speak.

DON'T make it super obvious you're using green screen.


This guy was parodied in the "Brainpower" music video Mega 64 did for Freezepop, and again was brought up in their Gnomon University commercial.

DO be thematically appropriate.
MUSIC VIDEO OF THE WEEK #2- "Hungry Like The Wolf" by Duran Duran


Never seen Lupin The Third, but it looks like it's a show about a pretty slick dude. And this is a very slick cover of a song about a creepy stalker guy. The lips match up when they're singing, and the tone of clips go with the tempo. I can look at this and see something complete.

DON'T just throw shit up there.


Hey! Reel Big Fish again! So what does the song "The Fire" have to do with a line for the bathroom? And why is it just showing me full clips from the show? Oh well, at least I know what the episode is. Good thing this guy didn't bother with video editing!

DO get friends who've been to film school.
MUSIC VIDEO OF THE WEEK #3: "Take The Money And Run" by Steve Miller Band

I just want to applaud their effort. The shots here lead me to believe that they knew what they were doing, and everything with that car in it is pure gold. For such a small project, a lot effort was put into it.

Like the other two entries, it captures the spirit of the song, and UNF DAT CAR.

DON'T make a fucking slide show.

I was looking for something pathetic, like stills of Sasuke to Disturbed's "Down With The Sickness", but this is in the same vein of what I was looking for: Screenshot Video.
1. Take some pictures
2. Lengthen to 5 seconds each in Windows Movie Maker
3. Have people hit your video so they can have the song in the background while they do something else.
4. There is no profit. See step 3.

If you're the kind of person who lives off YouTube hits, go ahead, waste your time. At least a Rock Band FC video shows me what the songs looks like or if it's any fun to play, and, you know, took effort to capture.

That's what it boils down to: effort. If you put care into making it, I'll take care to watch it, and not use it as background to whatever I'm doing.

NEVERMIND GUYS! I FOUND THE WORST THING!!!

Saturday, August 6, 2011

NEW SONG: Bad Doctors

Bad Doctors by RhythmBastard

This was the song I was trying to make a couple weeks ago, but now I got it all mastered. For everything I'm iffy about, like the bass and flow, there's one thing I'm proud of, like the guitar and how my vocals seem to fit better.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

August 3rd, 2011 Videos Of The Week

Here's a band I first heard at the pre-show dance party at Rocky Horror: The Wombats.

LIVE VIDEO OF THE WEEK: "My First Wedding" by The Wombats at The Max in Amsterdam


This was the song I was talking about. It was my first time going, and we were celebrating my friend and his then-GF's joint birthday (born on the same day, how weird is that?). I was going out with a friend of hers, and it was that night me and my friend were de-virginized (to Rocky Horror).

In the few times we've gone since then, this, "American Idiot", and "Here It Goes Again" have always been on regular rotation. The pre-dance parties are a ton of fun, and always full of energy. It's really good for shaking out the "Oh fuck, we gotta leave by 2:30 to catch the 3:19 AM out of Penn or else we're stuck till five in the goddamn morning" out of the system, and getting psyched up to watch a movie.

"My First Wedding" should be required playing at every party.

MUSIC VIDEO OF THE WEEK: "Kill The Director" by The Wombats


This song was about the movie The Holiday, and everything that you've just experienced is too good for a movie I forgot even came out. I haven't even seen Bridget Jones though, so what do I know?

Oh yeah, The Wombats the kick ass.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

July 27th, 2011 Videos Of The Week

Playlist Updated

LIVE VIDEO OF THE WEEK: "Sharp Dressed Man" As Made Famous By ZZ Top performed by Rick K. and the All Nighters


In my experience from bands I was in that never made it to their first gig, drummers fall into two catergories:
The Phil Rudd- "I'm just here to play the basic beat. Leave me alone and tell me if we have any groupies leftover for me,"
AND
The Mike Portnoy- "Everything can use a Double Bass Pedal solo, right?"

This man is in a category all his own.

MUSIC VIDEO OF THE WEEK: "Beast and the Harlot" by Avenged Sevenfold

Fresh off Rock Band 3, it's "Beast and the Harlot" by Avenged Sevenfold.

The more commonly quoted factoid is that the song was inspired several verse of Chapter 17 in the Book of Revelations, ("Seven headed beast, ten horns raised from his head" "hatred strips her and leaves her naked"), but what I didn't know was the black tar effect, of those who have had their souls taken, was from the 8th circle of hell in Dante's Inferno.

Friday, July 22, 2011

NewGrounds Audio Contest Entry Live Blog

Been putting off for a while, now I'm finally putting a song down, because this month's theme is... ZOMBIES!!!

2:23 PM- Spend all day dicking about. Now sitting down to type up the lyrics, listening to a Mario Party Let's Play

2:48 PM- Lyrics all typed up, now getting ready to record vocals. I so badly want to get outside, as I've cooped up all morning playing Halo: Reach DOING GOOD WORK FOR MY COMMUNITY, but the weather in NY right now is about 100F.

3:20 PM- Friend o' mine Koltreg's got two webcomics: Changeling and Socialfist, and by donating to his Kickstarter, you can get signed copies of both the books! I see a lot of potential in these young webcomics, and I'm gonna donate once I'm sure about what the hell is going on in Student Loan county and the Warped Tour jursidiction.

Also I just opened up REAPER, beats all set up. Holler!

4:00 PM- 2/5ths done with the lyrics. Like Robotman's Lament, it's a story driven song, so I'm trying vocals first. My singning lacks intensity when it's this fast, and there's no guitar to go off of. Hopefully it works out.

4:15 PM- 3/5ths. Parents want to go out to see Captain America. I kinda do too, since it's getting really good buzz, and it looks very self-contained.

7:55 PM- Bad news, I went to see Captain America. Good news, it was worth it, I'm full of 7-11 Chicken Strips and am ready to lay down guitar. Also, I discovered that I could either completely pay off one of my student loans or see Warped Tour...

9:58 PM- Shit, I've wasted a lot of time, haven't I? Right, so I've been through two takes, deleted them, not to my liking. At least I'm getting a lock down on what I do want. The way I figure it, I only have another hour, since I need to post it up and stuff.

11:42 PM- FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK! At this point maybe some of the guitar tracks are acceptable. It's done, people are in the house looking to sleep and I only got maybe one good run-through left. FUCK. Prolly not making Warped Tour. FUCK.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

July 20th, 2011 Videos Of The Week

In Honor Of Henry Rollins

LIVE VIDEO OF THE WEEK: "Rise Above" and "American Waste" by Black Flag


Sound quality's not so good, but the energy is just downright contagious!

First video, Rise Above, is with Rollins, and former singer Dez Cadena playing guitar, who then sings on the second, and earlier song American Waste.

Target Video was a studio that recorded a lot of punk bands live performances, including the Dead Kennedys, Iggy Pop and the Sex Pistols.

MUSIC VIDEO OF THE WEEK: "Let There Be Rock" by The Hard-Ons feat. Henry Rollins


Henry Rollins will fuck a guy up if there isn't any rock.



The Hard Ons, one of Austrailia's bigger indie bands recorded a cover of the AC/DC Classic in 1991.
I was expecting him to half shout the song, but he delivers it. Still great, but I do miss a couple of the vocal flourishes that Bon Scott did in the original, like the southern accent on "Hear the finger pickin'", for example.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

July 13th, 2011 Videos Of The Week

"Performing" on "TV Shows" is this week's theme!

LIVE VIDEO OF THE WEEK: "No More Heroes" by The Stranglers on Top Of The Pops


No, there's no Travis Touchdown. I know, I'm upset too.

Unfortunately, I couldn't find a full version of said performance on Top Of The Pops, but one thing of note, is that at 1:41 in the video, Hugh Cornwell is playing air guitar, but the song keeps on going. Top Of The Pops always has their acts pretend to play over the song, and a couple other artists have goofed around like that during their sets, such as Green Day, in their first performance in '94, Billie Joe Armstrong wrote "Who Am I Fooling Anyway?" on a T-shirt.

I think this song would work really well in Rock Band, especially with the keyboard section, and I don't think anyone has anything to bitch about. Listening to some of the other Stranglers songs, the bass really does lead the way on a fair bit of them.

MUSIC VIDEO OF THE WEEK: "Brainpower" by The Freezerpop Freezepop


I was listening to the Mega 64 podcast while working on some new RBN stuff and I thought, "Hey, didn't these guys do a music video for Freezepop?"

It's pretty funny and the budget seems through the roof coming from Mega64.

Interesting they use the original, full synth version, as opposed to the Rock Band version where the lead synth is electric guitar.

And it's not the first time Mega 64 had Freezepop on their channel. For example, in The Freakout Theory video, you can hear a Game Boy rendition of "Science Genius Girl". Also, their Cosplayers series use the inter:sect mix of "Parlez Vous Freezepop?"

Monday, July 11, 2011

"Radio Days Pt. 1" in The Sagittarian 3!!

One of my earliest songs, Radio Days Pt. 1 is in the new zombie adventure game on NewGrounds,
The Sagittarian 3!

I was first contacted about using that song in the game in April. Hyptosis, creator of the game, sent me a message asking for permission. Now, I hadn't touched my NewGrounds account in a while, and that message made me realize how worthwhile a system it can be. At the very least, lightning can strike twice, another artist can use another one of my songs in his movie/game, and that works out for me as well.

Also, quality of reviews aside, there's at least some brand of quantifiable feedback which, when used by someone knowledgeable and eloquent, can be very useful and encouraging.

P.S. I've already seen like 10 requests asking where Sagittarian 3 is.

Here's a live version of the song from my set at The Vault a few months ago.
Radio Days (Live from The Vault) by RhythmBastard

Thursday, July 7, 2011

July 6th, 2011 Videos Of The Week

I WANT YOU TO WANT... to watch these videos.

LIVE VIDEO OF THE WEEK: "I Want You To Want Me" by Cheap Trick Live At Budokan


Stephen Colbert psyches himself with this song before every show. I believe that it's all that needs to be said.

OK, it's really fun to dance around to all crazy like.

MUSIC VIDEO OF THE WEEK: "Dare To Be Stupid" by Weird Al Yankovic


I was going to put Devo's "Whip It" on here, or one of Devo's other videos, but I figured, "Why not put up EVERY Devo video?". It's like every 80's video cliche in one place: stop motion, animated, art from a child's notebook, and in a drab, white open space.

In fact, Marc Mothersbaug from Devo actually said that it's more or less the quintessential Devo song.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

June 29th, 2011 Videos Of The Week

LIVE VIDEO OF THE WEEK: "Jackass In A Polo Shirt" by Dick Valentine

squidbunny knows what's up: "In This Video: Dick Valentine equates himself with Jesus Christ and assures a douchebag he will fuck him up in a cage match for the good of all. He is never mistaken."

I don't know what that song at the end is, and I don't care. All I know is that the last time I posted up Electric Six for Video Of The Week my state of New York allowed same sex marriage.

MUSIC VIDEO OF THE WEEK: "Perform This Way" by Weird Al Yankovic


There is quite a back and forth about this song, but that's for another time when I get around to editing this.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Rhythm Bastard Double Feature

Two shows in two weeks! Hopefully I won't be too busy catching up on Regular Show...

JULY 2ND- THE NATIONAL UNDERGROUND- 9:30 PM
FREE SHOW!!!
The band Remedy goes on before at 9 PM.
It's a free show, and it's nice little venue where I played the Gig Of Legend
I don't know if I'm going to be including "College Party" into the setlist, but who knows.

JULY 9th- BAR EAST- 9:00 PM
10bux, 21+

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

June 22nd, 2011 Videos Of The Week

Gettin' right to it! Two videos I'm surprised I didn't mention already today!

LIVE VIDEO OF THE WEEK: "Promenade" by Street Sweeper Social Club at Starlight Theatre in Kansas City, MO


This made it for one reason: Tom Morello, and how he can make a guitar sound like anything.

Here's a video from 1998 where he shows how he does some of his guitar tricks on TRL. There was one where he shows all the tricks used in "Promenade", but I can't find it right now.

MUSIC VIDEO OF THE WEEK: "Gay Bar" by Electric Six

Watch it at work! Watch it in front of your parents! While a lot of those "Gaybraham Lincoln"s were Dick Valentine, stand-ins were used in a couple scenes.

BONUS VIDEO: "Danger! High Voltage!"


In case you want an Electric Six song without gay context.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Come Back Tomorrow

FOR:
-"Axe Cop" the song on RBN (if you have a Creator's Account)
-New Tabs
-And for all you NewGrounders, I'll put up something that's been buried in my accounts.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

June 15th, 2011 Videos Of The Week

We've got a nice little collection going for the playlist!

LIVE VIDEO OF THE WEEK: "Bang Bang Rock N' Roll" by Art Brut in Cologne


I first heard this song in Saints Row 1, a game that was a lot better than I was expecting for a supposed "GTA Clone" released in the first year of the Xbox 360's lifecycle. Yahtzee recommened #2, but I started with the first, because "Look At Me (I'm A Winner)!" was in the game. Then I realized I could have burned the entire Charge! Album on to my 360 (gamertag RhythmBstrd).

I put it as the live video not because the performance itself is particularly interesting, but because it's the clearest version of said song on YouTube.

And, you know, because the tune itself kicks ass, and it fit in perfectly with the madcap anarchy of the Saints Row series.

What's Art Brut up to now? Lead singer Eddie Argos appeared on Akira The Don's new version of Living In The Future (2.5 to be precise) requesting Ghostbusters 3.

MUSIC VIDEO OF THE WEEK: "You Get What You Give" by New Radicals


In Part 2 of "The Rhythm Bastard Shares Music From His Childhood", we come upon "You Get What You Give" by New Radicals.

Even in this day and age, it still fills me with hope for future, which is the kind of thing we all need right now.

The RIAA and MPAA can make it a felony to stream video with copyrighted music in it, even 100% FC FB RB runs.

We're sucking the dicks of the rich, who not only don't give back, but ship off jobs to other countries.


Even when rich people steal right from under our noses, and take everything to leave behind a scorched Earth, they only get a slap on the wrists.

Human life is just another commodity to these fuckers, like oil.

But when I listen to this song and see this video, all of that fades away, and I think that someday, we can win.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Rhythm Bastard's Coming To Rock Band!

It's finally here!



The sound kinda sucks, but it's going to be one of those things I'll be fixing before I submit it this Thursday!

It's a little thing I've been doing in the interim in between songs. "Axe Cop" is the first, followed thereafter by "Robotman's Lament", which I'll start working on after I put up "Axe Cop".

And yes, I did get Ethan Nicole's permission.

Monday, June 13, 2011

NEW SONG: College Party



New song from the upcoming Dino Hunter MD Soundtrack, "College Party"! Or is it "College Party!"? Who cares! or is it Who cares??

REGARDLESS, this is the last song I have written for Dino Hunter MD. The rest (that are not on the Robot Rising EP), I still need to re-do. Soon you'll be seeing all of those songs in one place, and it will be awesome.

For this song, they originally wanted me to do "Heat Of The Moment" but not really for copyright reasons. The director said it was because "it was the happiest song I could think of". I was in the middle of penning a song about two hipsters at an 80's night in Willamsburg, but then I realized something: we also use "ABC" by The Jackson 5. "College Party" is supposed to take place during a party scene in Episode 2, where a study session is interrupted by drug use. Also, the partyingest (FUCK YOU SPELLCHECK!!!) musician out there is none other than Andrew WK.

Thus "College Party" was born!

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

June 8th, 2011 Videos Of The Week

2nd Week in a row!

LIVE VIDEO OF THE WEEK: "Get Free" by The Vines on David Letterman


Some people say that this was a blown opportunity to make it big in America, and this was a mental breakdown that will be part of their VH1: Behind The Music Special which will never happen because they suck live.

Those people are retarded.

Some people say this was a dig at the music buisness, where they were expected to just give in to their corpratist overlords and sing like good little monkey. but they didn't because FUCK THE MAN!

Right attitude, wrong answer. They only get a 3 out of 10 on the Sarah Palin Fucking Retarded Scale, where a 10 is "Paul Revere's midnight ride warned the British troops that Americans still had their guns and were going to use their God Given Second Amendment Rights to keep their guns".

Where was I? Oh yeah, a guy got a little too high, and this happened. Unfortunate, but really fun to watch, whenever the singer still gave a fuck. We're talking about it, and that's all that matters.

MUSIC VIDEO OF THE WEEK: "What's My Age Again?" by Blink 182


OK, so here's my decision process for this pick.

I had nothing, so I looked up "Music Video" on YouTube. One of the results was "The Real Slim Shady" by Eminem and I felt a bit nostalgic, since it was one of the music videos that was popular when I was getting into MTV. It had swear words cut out, it was risque and filled with pop culture references my parents were not OK with.

That led me to my next thought: was the first music video like that? What was the first thing I saw on MTV that made me think "I shouldn't be watching this, but goddamn does this rock so hard."

Blink 182's "What's My Age Again".

It was loud, and it featured the band streaking through the streets, just making a general nuisance. That was stuff 11 year old me, loved but never wanted to admit.

On the nudity, here's Mark Hoppus' quote on the video:
"[the] scene with the butt shots, when we were running down the street, were actually the only real nude scenes. We wore skin-colored Speedos for most of the scenes and when we were running, I realized how unattractive male genitals are. Everything dangling and such. I didn't think I could be embarrassed easily, but I really was."

I'm still working on a couple other things right now, mainly finishing up my last song for Dino Hunter MD and putting Axe Cop: The Song on the RBN.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

June 1st, 2011 Videos Of The Week

So, I'd figure I'd start one of these things, going over one live video.and one music video a week.

LIVE VIDEO OF THE WEEK: Akira The Don and MC Lars at Slam Dunk Festival, "Living In The Future"


The sound's a bit off, but I finally found a video from this tour. Apparently this is "Living In The Future 2.5".

BONUS! Here's a video from the same tour that actually has decent sound:
MC Lars and Weerd Science "Signing Emo"


MUSIC VIDEO OF THE WEEK: Goldfish, "We Come Together"


This is a band I'm starting to get into. Goldfish is a dance/electronic group from South Africa. This is their latest single, "We Come Together". Everything here is timed perfectly, and the retro-look suits the song well. The "different levels" concept is reinforced by the color pallete for each level, from warm yellows and browns of the opening scenes, to the purples of the nightclub, to the dark browns of the final level. Looking at their YouTube page, this is only the most recent of a line of clever music videos and catchy tunes.

Have any suggestions for next week? Hit me up in the comments!

Saturday, May 28, 2011

May 27th, 2011, National Underground GIG OF LEGEND

All this past week, I had imagined all the way it could possibly go wrong: No ride, no equipment, snapped strings, even death. I started the week with the intent to practice one song a day. Sure, I slipped up a couple times, but mostly I was feeling confident come Thursday night. Staples had a bunch of stuff on sale, so I bought 100 CD sleeves and discs for around $20. Setlist was all planned out, my backing tracks were coming together, and I was on my game.

By Friday, I woke up wishing I had one more week.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Robot Rising EP

Robot Rising EP by RhythmBastard

IT'S OUT!!!

1. Robotman's Lament (from the upcoming Dino Hunter MD Soundtrack)
2. Force Of Nature
3. Pass The Class (from the upcoming Dino Hunter MD Soundtrack)
4. Radio Days Pt. 1 (Live from The Vault)
5. Axe Cop: The Song

Recorded at Bastard Central
Mixed and Mastered at Industrial Light and Schoepher

"Robotman's Lament" and "Pass The Class" are two songs I did for an internet show my friends created, Dino Hunter MD.

So basically, they had me re-do like 5 or so songs they used in episodes. They're selling DVDs of Season 1, and want to avoid any legal kerfuffles. The list went as follows:
"You're The Best Around" by Joe Esposito
"Heat Of The Moment" by Asia
"Mr. Roboto" by Styx
"I Will Remember You" by Sarah McLaughlin
"Centerfield" by John Fogerty

Then I more or less disregarded all of those suggestions and did my own thing. I won't necessarily spoil the episodes as you can watch them at the FaceBook link, and the YouTube page.

It was an amazing experience, as I was banging out songs like a mofo, and I've been in "do shit" mode for the past month. It was great for breaking me out of a creative rut. So to all of the Rock Band Network people who follow me on Twitter, this has been why I've been inactive.

"Pass The Class" is used in a montage scene, so for this scene I went with all the intensity and jingoism of your average 80's montage, but with all the lameness of studying.

"Robotman's Lament" tells the story of an XZ71 Robotman Unit (the design I'm wearing in the cover) who- DOWNLOAD THE FUCKING SONG. Of all of these songs from the Dino Hunter MD batch, I think this one I'm the most proud of, since it's got 5 acts, chiptune, and intensity in all the right places.

The other three you'll have to wait until the DVD comes out later this summer, but trust me, it's worth it, and when I sent these to the guys in charge, they fucking loved it.

"Radio Days Pt. 1" and "Force Of Nature" are from... something else, but "Force Of Nature" is a re-record I did for....

WHEN AXE COP AND FORCE OF NATURE COME OUT FOR THE ROCK BAND NETWORK! I still need to get the animations right for "Axe Cop", and start on "Force Of Nature", but those are just two quick things while Akira the Don and MC Lars are on tour.

Download it and love it!

Friday, May 13, 2011

Robot Rising EP Coming Soon!


So, this Sunday I'm releasing my first official release, the Robot Rising EP!!!

My first official release! I think this covers a fair bit of what I've done and what I'm working on since I first uploaded "Force Of Nature" on Newgrounds a year and a half ago, with some shit rerecorded and remastered.

1. Robotman's Lament (from the upcoming Dino Hunter MD Soundtrack)
2. Force Of Nature
3. Pass The Class
4. Radio Days Pt. 1 (Live from The Vault)
5. Axe Cop The Song

Recorded at Bastard Central
Mixed and Mastered at Industrial Light and Schopher

The thought occured to me to release an EP when I was in the middle of a few music projects, and I figured that something like this would be a good introduction to my music.

I've been working on "swedeing" some licensed songs for my friends' internet series, Dino Hunter MD, and that'll probably be my next big release.

I'll be putting up Robotman's Lament on NewGrounds when it comes out, and if I can get some more followers on Facebook, I'll put it out tomorrow!

Friday, May 6, 2011

Radio Silence

I've been quiet the past few days, mostly being in "make shit" mode.

By next Thursday, I should have a song in the Rock Band Network OF MY VERY OWN.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

New Music By Rock Band Friends!

First up is MC Lars and Weerd Science's "How To Be An Indie Rapper"

How to Be an Indie Rapper (featuring Weerd Science) by MC Lars

Lars is a lot of fun, and eloquents as fuck as usual, and good Lord does Weerd Science know how to get my attention. How he'll fare at Warped Tour I don't know, but if there's money in my account, I'm going.

Akira The Don - Jamie by Akira The Don

And closer to the pop side of the spectrum, we have Akira The Don's "Jamie", sampling Sweet Child O' Mine. It sounds like then song you want to shout from your terrace the first time you've woken up before 10 in God knows how long as sniff in the morning dew, then get dressed and go outside on your day off...

Anyways, I'm getting two new songs ready for tomorrow.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Re-Recordin', Writing Bass Parts

That's what I'm doing right now.
Why I'm rerecording?
I dunno.
My Lightsnake Guitar cable's been acting up, so I'm trying to rejigger it so it works again, but maybe I'll try recording 'em the old fashioned way.

Hey guys, remember when this blog was about me learning songs from Rock Band?

Good times.

In the meantime, this:

Saturday, April 2, 2011

REPOST: Cee Lo Green Coming To Rock Band

I should have told them to piss off instead

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NinjaGamerGeek.com
CEE LO GREEN COMING TO ROCK BAND
by Pissed Jose



If you remember last time, The Rhythm Bastard was not so kind to us, telling us "Fuck You", when we relentlessly pestered him about MC Chris and Axe Cop in Rock Band. Normally, I, famed Blip.tv personality Pissed Jose, would make one of my famous hilarious rant video to put that sucker in his place.

OR DID HE?

That "Fuck You" actually meant that CEE LO GREEN'S HIT SINGLE "FUCK YOU" IS COMING TO THE ROCK BAND NETWORK!!!

We contacted Rhythm Bastard, but the phione kept ringing.

Blondie's "Hanging On The Telephone" in Rock Band!
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My response.

Friday, April 1, 2011

REPOST: Axe Cop and MC Chris Coming To Rock Band?

Never drunk Twitter at 3 AM kids. Otherwise you'll accidentally create an absolutely terrible article that parodies modern gaming news because that shit'll make Fox News look decent.

Axe Cop: The Song you CAN listen to on top there, but I doubt MC Chris will be returning any of my e-mails.



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NinjaGamerGeek.com
AXE COP AND MC CHRIS COMING TO ROCK BAND?
by Ben-Gaku Paddon-San



Recently, Rhythm Bastard tweeted on Twitter:

@_mcChris and @AXE_COP in #RockBand? Hmmm...
April 1st, 2011. 3:02 AM

Being that it is April 1st we were a little wary, but being that we're game journalists, that means it is absolutely true. Just take a look at the exceptional journalism at the political blog on our network, America USA Freedom Blog, with it's landmark piece "Is MC Chris A Communist Wizard?" by James O' Toole.

The Rhythm Bastard is authoring an MC Chris 3-pack of video game referencing songs (because we are a game journalism blog), including "FTW", "Nrrd Grrl" and "Japanese Maid", the latter of the three being video game related because it is about glorious Nippon.

This speculation absolutely has to be true, because he currently has Akira The Don and MC Lars ("Steven Wells (He Was The Greatest)" coming soon) in the Rock Band Network, who are also accompanying Chris on the Melanin Challenged Tour this May. Therefore, everything has to be taken to the most extreme conclusion.

After all, the title is a question so we're not really misleading people.

Josh Eppard, a.k.a. Weerd Science, is technically already in Rock Band, as the drummer for popular New Prog outfit The New Pornographers, but his music sounds like man exorcising his frustrations and past demons through razor sharp raps, and the guitar charts for those wouldn't even break devil tier.

However, most surprisingest is the "Axe Cop" announcement. Now, even though the Rhythm Bastard has a song about Axe Cop, the fact that only the one song is a little suspect. THat can only mean:

THE AXE COP CONCEPT ALBUM IS COMING TO THE ROCK BAND NETWORK!!!

All 15 songs from this album that may or may not exist will be playable:
"Axe Cop: The Song"
"CHOP!"
"Chicken Chicken Chicken Little"
"Ring of Axe fire"
"La la la goo!"
"hungry like a hungry vampire wolfer"
"the smart smart smart"
"I Wanted To Love You But Your A Dumb Girl So I Hit You With My Axe"
"Transcendental Chemistry Part 1: The Transcendentaling"
"Transcendental Chemistry Part 2: Soul of the Tomb Of The Mummy King"
"Transcendental Chemistry Part 3: Gay Bar (Electric Six cover)"
"Transcendental Chemistry Part 4A: M"
"Transcendental Chemistry Part 4B: DSDljksdf"
"Shake What Your Baby Gave Ya!"
"GHOOOOOST SOOOOOONG!!! (with the secret bonus track "Saturday" featuring Rebecca Black)"

Lots of stiff competition in the RBN, especially considering OzoneEntertainment's Crush 40 songs also coming to the Network.

We contacted the Rhythm Bastard for a response, and it is as follows:
"Fuck you"

More to come, like what I do into my Authentic Japanese Buku No- Den Bawashi Love Pillow.
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WHY WOULD HE MENTION THAT?

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

YOUTUBE PARTY PARTY HARD!!!

YEAH! I GOTS ME SOME VIDEOS! TGRK maybe delayed, but PARTY ON!



From 0:41 to 0:46? I MADE THAT!!!



Full play video of "This Gigantic Robot Kills"!



Iggy Pop feat. Sum 41. Pretty good song. This exactly what I'd expect a collaboration between the two to sound.



Garrett, your choice to be a homosexual offends Jesus.



ALCOHOLISM! PARTY HARD!!



This was just an excuse to post those first two videos. Sorry.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

NEW SONG: From A Mile Away

Let's see...
From A Mile Away (Boom Headshot) by RhythmBastard

Yeah, there it is... My first time trying finger tapping solos, and it didn't come out so bad. The vocal melody could use work.

This was one of those song ideas that was kicking around for a while, and only recently did I get the rest of the song behind it.

Anyways, I'm editing "This Gigantic Robot Kills" and thinking of what song to do next.

Also, I've been reading "Gimme Something Better", a book about the Bay Area punk scene. Just finished the chapter on Rancid. I'll do a full write up when I'm done, but it's interesting to see where and how some of these bands came about.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

What I've Been Up To

I had something to say about RockSmith, but not now, as I've got an Extra-ing gig to go to.

So, what I've been to:
-Mostly updating "This Gigantic Robot Kills" for RBN 2.0. I added keys and harmonies, which is really easy since he pretty much gave me all the stems for everything.
Pro keys I used the Auto Detect method that you'd use for vocals, and the result was pretty damn good.
Also helping: A basic knowledge of music theory.

-Finishing up a new song, one that I've been kicking around for a while.

-Also, practicing for another gig at The Vault.

That's all for now, might edit with more.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

How Guitar Hero Can Redeem Itself

I was going to have a song ready for today, but this post is already several days in limbo, and I need to re-do my vocals. But you can join my Facebook or Twitter, you can get it as soon as it's out.

Enough about me, let's talk Guitar Hero:
Now, as I've mentioned before, Guitar Hero needed to be a different game, and for the most part, Warriors of Rock accomplished that. GH5, while still enjoyable, felt like Rock Band 2.5.

Warriors of Rock cranked up the difficulty, and the crazy bullshit, which, while I haven't played it yet, I'd consider a good thing, as it separates itself from the more reserved and professional Rock Band 3. From what I hear, the engine's pretty solid, so there's no impetus to change that. Hear that [future bitch of Bobby Kotick]? The hard part's over.

In order to continue in this different, more arcade-y manner, I turn you to:

The Xbox Live Arcade, or your consoles analog.

Let me back up a second: the biggest complaint that everyone has with Guitar Hero AND Rock Band ends up being the setlist. Everyone has different tastes in music, and even fans of the same band will branch out in other directions. ScoreHero don't care what music it is, as long as the charts end up being Skittle vomit, and the titles have the letters FC on the end.

The normal reaction to this would be to encourage DLC sales, but that still doesn't solve the problem of justifying $60 for a disc 80-ish songs, maybe half of which you'd like. And GH's release schedule for DLC has been tepid at best.

My solution? Get rid of the disc. Let the end user customize their own game.

Here's how I'd start off with "Guitar Hero: The Rhythm Bastard Is Totes Awesome Sauce And We Are Indebted To His Genius Forever" (or GH:TRBITASAWAITHGF): a free version with 5 sample songs, donated by the staffers (similar to the bonus songs in Harmonix titles), with only one playable venue. All the old DLC still works, obviously. This would act as the hub for all future content.

Next, we'd release mini packs with ten or so songs each, and come with a venue or two, similar to Green Day: Rock Band. For example:
-The Indie Rock Pack could come with The Knitting Factory in Brooklyn.
-The New Wave Pack would come with the Whiskey A Go Go
-The Punk Pack would come with 912 Gilman St.
-The Aquabats! Hi Five Soup! Album with unlockable Aquacadet uniform!
-AC/DC: Live at Donnington, now with Donnington venue!
and so on. Each pack would provide a little blurb on the location, to give it a little oomph.

Each of these would only cost $10-15, and act as expansions to the free hub.

Also, the DLC store could bring up song recommendations when you pick a song in your library, kind of like a last.fm type deal.

One thing I did consider was the, for the sake of argument, "suburban" market. This market usually isn't very tech-savvy, and would not be likely to have their system connected to the internet. Mostly comprised of Wal-Mart shopping families, you know, the kind of people who buy Cabella's Big Game Hunter and $20 shovelware.

This was the same reason the "Country Track Packs" for Rock Band still came on disc. You could release a more expanded hub on disc, that contains more songs and a few of the packs already on, but make it competitively priced. Or, just a disc with about 30 songs, sell it for $50, and include a code to redeem some of the packs. The codes for the rest can be bought as cards, like what GameStop does for some big DLC.

How often would the packs be released? I'd say monthly, bi-monthly depending, with 5 or so available at launch. The wait between releaes would be a point to say, "Now fill up your library with some of our old DLC songs!"

ToyMachine suggested a Rock Band Network equivalent in his article, and while that could fill in the gap, I'm not sure how charters and the artists would feel.

Another good idea he had? Rhythm guitar, even if it has to sub in for bass.

With all this in mind, hopefully GH:TRBITASAWAITHGF (pronounced Trib-it-ah-sah-way-th-gif) can make the franchise worth looking at again.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Letters From Bands Who's CDs I've Recently Bought

All right, so I've actually bought (GASP!) music these past few months. Not necessarily because I wanted to, but the bands themselves personally sent me letters:

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To Whom It May Concern:
Sorry for inventing modern emo-core music. We kinda wanted to make punk, but little did we know that yelling about relationships and wearing all black was going to be an official "thing". Gerard even dyed his hair red as his way of expressing regrets.

In order to make up for any grievance we may have caused, here is an album of party rock. Gerard's voice still cracks occasionally like he's just hitting puberty, but the man can't find himself to part with his skinny jeans.

Our new album, Danger Days: The True Lives Of The Fabulous Killjoys still has some of the bombast leftover from our last one, Welcome To The Black Parade, but mostly we tried to stick to simpler songs that are just plain fun, like "Party Poison" and "Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na)". Heck, there are even a couple dance numbers, like "Planetary (Go)!". Well, golly gee whiz, if don't get your toes a tappin', then YOU HAVE NO FUCKING SOUL.

Apologies, and have fun!
My Chemical Romance

P.S. Don't worry, it's not a concept album. We thought about it, but then we were like "fuck it", and tried to weasel some line about lights going out into every song.

-----------------------------------------------------------
Don't listen to Planetary Go! stoned while playing Geometry Wars. Just don't, trust me. You'll lose a fucking finger. A delicious finger, but a finger nonetheless.

Anyway, here's the other letter:
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Dear Cadets:
Sorry about taking so long between albums, but we wanted to make sure that it was absolutely super! That, and Space Monster M attacked the bank, so we kinda had to take care of that.
Also, there was the time we had to help Axe Cop fight demon vampire warthog babies, and there were a lot of them, so....

Here's our newest, Hi Five Soup! Now, I know how much you liked Charge!! but a lot of stuff happened between now and then, so we put a couple reggae-influenced songs in as well. So while it may not be as straight up punk as Charge!!, Eagle "Bones" Falconhawk's solo on "The Legend Is True!" will more than make up for any lulls.