Letters From Bands Who's CDs I've Recently Bought

All right, so I've actually bought (GASP!) music these past few months. Not necessarily because I wanted to, but the bands themselves personally sent me letters:

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To Whom It May Concern:
Sorry for inventing modern emo-core music. We kinda wanted to make punk, but little did we know that yelling about relationships and wearing all black was going to be an official "thing". Gerard even dyed his hair red as his way of expressing regrets.

In order to make up for any grievance we may have caused, here is an album of party rock. Gerard's voice still cracks occasionally like he's just hitting puberty, but the man can't find himself to part with his skinny jeans.

Our new album, Danger Days: The True Lives Of The Fabulous Killjoys still has some of the bombast leftover from our last one, Welcome To The Black Parade, but mostly we tried to stick to simpler songs that are just plain fun, like "Party Poison" and "Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na)". Heck, there are even a couple dance numbers, like "Planetary (Go)!". Well, golly gee whiz, if don't get your toes a tappin', then YOU HAVE NO FUCKING SOUL.

Apologies, and have fun!
My Chemical Romance

P.S. Don't worry, it's not a concept album. We thought about it, but then we were like "fuck it", and tried to weasel some line about lights going out into every song.

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Don't listen to Planetary Go! stoned while playing Geometry Wars. Just don't, trust me. You'll lose a fucking finger. A delicious finger, but a finger nonetheless.

Anyway, here's the other letter:
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Dear Cadets:
Sorry about taking so long between albums, but we wanted to make sure that it was absolutely super! That, and Space Monster M attacked the bank, so we kinda had to take care of that.
Also, there was the time we had to help Axe Cop fight demon vampire warthog babies, and there were a lot of them, so....

Here's our newest, Hi Five Soup! Now, I know how much you liked Charge!! but a lot of stuff happened between now and then, so we put a couple reggae-influenced songs in as well. So while it may not be as straight up punk as Charge!!, Eagle "Bones" Falconhawk's solo on "The Legend Is True!" will more than make up for any lulls.