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Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Rhythm Bastard Pleased With Sucess Of Announcement Of Announcement

SEPTEMBER 14TH, 2010. FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: RHYTHM BASTARD PLEASED WITH SUCCESS OF ANNOUNCEMENT OF ANNOUNCEMENT.

NEW YORK, NY. Rhythm Bastard, who recently announced that he would make an announcement, boasts of his recent success:
"I got like, a million hits from just the idea that I'll be announcing something."

Records show he only received 16 hits. 7 of those were counted twice.

Will it be big? The Rhythm Bastard seems to think so: "With all these posts related to my as of yet unmade announcement of something big, it can't possibly be a letdown! Like Daiktana! Or the box-office draw to Scott Pilgrim vs The World" The latter being a movie staring Michael Cera based off a series of Graphic Novels by Bryan Lee O'Malley. The former is bieng turned into a movie starring Michael Cera and will be released in 2013.

His accountant Phil had this to say: "As a running joke that nobody gives a shit about as well as an accountant, this is a huge failure. He doesn't even sell anything, and barely bothers to network. For the love of God, please get me out of here. This man keeps me chained in his parents basement"

The Rhythm Bastard's father is equally unimpressed with the success of the announcement: "I don't care if my generation turned into a bunch greedy fucks and would rather make a profit than hire new people to ease the workload, I'm tired of him on the goddamn computer and playing his goddamn guitar."

His mother's take on the event is unorthodox, to say the least "Could you do me a favor and bring the laundry basket down?" She said, standing next to said laundry basket with perfectly functioning legs.

Regardless, the Rhythm Bastard remains steadfast that his announcement will bring him even more success: "Read my lips. I will make you my bitch."

He then proceeded to physically abuse his accountant, Phil.

The Rhythm Bastard had originally started a blog to chronicle his learning of the songs from the original Rock Band music video game. Now he does this shit and writes his own songs. His only claim to fame was posting the Guitar Hero: Arcade setlist.

He also has a song about Axe Cop available for download. Other songs can be downloaded via his Newgrounds Page.

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