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Friday, September 4, 2009

THE Punk, Not A Punk's 150th Post

THE FOLLOWING IS THE TRANSCRIPTION OF A PHONE CONVERSATION BETWEEN THE RHYTHM BASTARD, AND NOBODY IMPORTANT.

RB: Hey Phil From Accounting, you know what would be awesome for my 150th post? If I played "Tambourine Man" then shot my blog out of a cannon in the middle of Kentucky.
PFA: Mr. Bastard, can you ever call me sober? And with an idea that isn't horribly impractical or expensive?
RB: First off, that's King Bastard to you, and second, thank your lucky stars you're still here.

PFA: Hmmm...
RB: Well, do you have any ideas Mr. Fancy Pants?
PFA: I mean, since the songs you're working on now are so hard and will take a while, why not update with another bonus song?
RB: Like what?
PFA: I was thinking that one song released in later iterations of GH and RB that you won't get to in-
RB: *fap fap fap* Sorry, that was REALLY boring.
PFA: Were you just-?
RB: No, I was making the noises with my mouth. Pretty convincing, huh?
PFA: Anyway, back to my idea, it's a song by an indie band that was at All Points West, called Vampire Weekend called-
RB: Just kidding. It was your ex-wife.
PFA: (sobs)
5 MINUTES LATER
PFA: (still crying)
RB: Hey, I looked it up, and the song you were think of was "A-Punk" by Vampire Weekend. It's not very punk. It's like the Diet Coke of Punk: 1 calorie. Not punk enough.
PFA: Did you just quote Austin-
RB: I'd fire you for being so incompetent, but your ex-wife puts out as much as Scout's Mom. I should write a song for one of them...
PFA: (sobbing resumes)
RB: Anyway, I was gonna do a REAL punk song. Something Green Day covered maybe...
PFA: (dook dook dook)
RB: Right-o then.
PFA: I'll update the setlist...

So, without further ado-
A-PUNK
Fast, but easy. In Guitar Hero 5 they felt it necessary to chart the flute parts. The song only has two riffs really, but I'm only gonna type out this part:
E----9-9--12--12--7-7--10-10-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-
B----10-10-10-10-8-8--8--8---3-3-3-3-3-3-3-

Index finger on the 9th fret of the E string, middle finger on the 10th fret of the B string. Strum that twice, then put your pinky on the 12th fret of the e string. Move that shape down 2 frets and repeat.

KNOWLEDGE
Three chord punk at it's finest:
C5 (-355--)
Bb5 (-133--)
F5 (133---)

Like Blitzkrieg Bop, if you have ears and fingers, you can play it.

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