Still Here

I was lurking the Something Awful forums (No, I don't have an account), and I found a thread called "GENERIC LYRICS". Basically, everyone has to boil down an entire bands discography into a few lyrics. Most of them end with, I love this band, but seriosuly?

Some choice ones:
THE ROLLING STONES
(Riff)
I met a black girl
In Louisiana
Or was it Paris
I'm not sure
I was stoned
(Riff to end)

DREAM THEATER


Our lyrics are pretentious
With awkward transitions
And artsy themes that were
Clearly written to impress nubile females
Without actually having any meeeeeeeeeaaaaning






THE HOLD STEADY
Charlemagne deals drugs in downtown Minneapolis
While we were partying in Ybor City
Holly was overdosing on the banks of the Mississippi River
Christianity and drugs are the same things, you see
Here's another reference you don't get cuz you're not from Minneapolis
Now drink a Pabst Blue Ribbon in a tallboy can and listen to this sick guitar riff

WEEZER
I sit around all day.
I sit around and wonder
which guitar I'm gonna play,
when I'm up on stage,
playing my new hit song.

Sometimes I wonder why
I play the same old songs each day.
And even though I try
to write some fresh cool new ones,
still they say:
"Play The loving Sweater Song!"

I'm such a lucky guy
to be in such an awful band.
To churn out such redundant crap,
and still get paid abundantly.

I'm such a lucky loser.
I'm nothing without fans.
I'd be called a total bum,
If not for Pinkerton.

RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE
gently caress you I won't do what you tell me x8
You're a slave to the system x8
Destroy the establishment, free yourself x*
Repeat 5x
Tom Morello Solo
Repeat lyrics 2x

GREEN DAY
I'm sick and tired of politics
The whole thing's a piece of poo poo
We are the products of a dead nation
Nothing left but masturbation

(Chorus in F, C and G)
IIIII won't accept the world for what it is
I wanna get high and wake up the kids
Call me insane and I'll call you right
'Cause I can't live like this another night

AC/DC
(repetitive guitar riff)
:Something about rock and roll:
:Wailing about a girl:
(guitar riff again)
:Repeat chorus:
:Repeat chorus:
:Last two words of chorus:
(Inarticulatie noises/yelling)
(drawn-out outro)

REEL BIG FISH
I wanted to impress this girl, so I joined a band
Then we got famous for like 2 months
And now we're not famous any more and that makes me kind of pissed off
So gently caress you
Alcohol!
Thought guitar was cool, but everybody plays it
Everything's been done and redone to death
Thought ska was our thing, turned out to be a fad
Now when we play live we just dick around and rock it!
(Surprising metal guitar solo while the horns vamp)
Booze!

PuddleofNickelStaindBack

So far away,
A GIRL GAVE ME HEAD!
So faaaaaaar away
MY MOM NEVER LOVED ME!
So far awaaaaaaay

RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS
California is the best
All things happen in California
Let's go to California
Oh something sad happened in California

[instrumental bit]

California !!!

LADY GAGA
*Generic techno noise, boring 4/4 beat*
I'll wrap you 'round my finger
I know what you want
Cuz I got a catchy voice
I'm supposedta be appealin'!

(Chorus)
I LIKE TO, I LIKE TO REPEAT MYSELF
AND MAKE KINDA COOL CULTURAL REFERENCES
(Repeat 3x)

*Let beat play for 16 bars, naw it's cool, no fill or anything, it's a good beat*

Boys are always looking at me
I know my music's sweet like sugar
My huge sunglasses distort spacetime
Baby you're my fool

(Chorus, 12x)

*Let beat play 24 bars, fade out over the next 32 bars*

DROPKICK MURPHYS
In the hills near Dublin where my great-granddad was born
A man rose from his drink and stumbled out to the morn
Where he came aware of a pretty girl that left him a-stutter
And after she did him wrong our vagabond he did utter

gently caress YEAH. RED SOX. GO BOSTON GO
HEY WE'RE loving IRISH IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW
gently caress INDUSTRY, UNIONIZE YOU BOSTON SKINS, BE A MAN
AND THEN DIE IN EVERY GODFORSAKEN WAR FOR UNCLE SAM

These words our vagrant spoke before his voice died so quicker
So never cross a woman when you're out on the liquor
LIQUOR

Let's drink!

[bagpipes]

INTERPOL
There are city lights on my windshield
And I do not like the glare
I've been sitting here for a while
In the forest there might be a bear

CURRENT ROCK MUSIC ON THE RADIO
I got a girlfriend
and she's a slut
she's a trashy slutty girlfriend oh yeah!

RAP
Yo yo yo yo yo yo
I'm at the club
I'm at the club
me and my friends we're at the club
we are acting really cool at the club
there is some girl there I would like to have sex with
at the club
at the club

JOHNATHAN COULTON
I'm a scientist and I live in space
The world hates me, but that's okay
I live alone except with my girl
I turned her into a robot to do my bidding

Maybe I'm crazy.
Maybe I'm ugly.
Maybe I'm a psycho.
Maybe I used too many monkeys.

Then there was a post apocalyptic zombie robot war
But I'm still alive

One of my own:
AIRBOURNE
We're not AC/DC!
(repetitive guitar riff)
:Something about rock and roll:
:Wailing about a girl:
(guitar riff again)
:Repeat chorus:
:Repeat chorus:
:Last two words of chorus:
(Inarticulatie noises/yelling)
(drawn-out outro)

BOB DYLAN (yeah, I went there)
I see somethin' that's kinda wrong,
So I sit like a minstrel, playin' this song
I'll tell a story, bout a girl or two,
I think I peaked in '62...